Such As We Are Made Of, Such We Be
by 6Dylan9
Summary: Sometimes you just can't stop the inevitable. Season 3. Buffy/Faith.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

Buffy climbed the stairs that lead to the school entrance, grasping onto her bag as if it could give her some kind of comfort. It couldn't of course, it was just a bag; trendy, too small for the books she needed to put in there, and not practical at all. Her fingers gripped almost hard enough to rip the cheap material. Each step her affordably fashionable shoes made against the solid stone rang out loudly and made her wince. She was not in a good mood, but had good reason. The argument she'd had with her boyfriend the night before sat heavy on her chest, and she had nobody to blame but herself.

By the time she reached the library she felt thoroughly miserable. If her mom hadn't been home Buffy would have stayed in bed all day and wallowed in her self-pity, but she'd been forced to get up and trudge to school. The last thing she wanted to do was try to be cheerful for her friends, or be productive. Listening to Giles talk to her about slaying was also not high on her list of fun things to do right now. Maybe if she was lucky the Hellmouth would suddenly choose to open up and swallow her whole as soon as she pushed through the library doors.

It didn't, and she listened to the doors swish closed behind her as she shuffled inside, dropping her bag onto the table and slumping into a chair.

"Good morning, Buffy," Giles said cheerily as he manoeuvred out of his office, books shoved under both arms as he tried not to spill coffee from the cup he was cradling.

"Is it?" Buffy grumbled.

He paid no attention to the question and placed his coffee down on the counter, clumsily divesting himself of the large books he'd been carrying. They thudded on the wood of the counter, little plumes of dust shooting out from their pages.

"New books?" Buffy asked as she glanced towards the open office door, noticing a large cardboard box that appeared to have been delivered that morning.

"Old books," Giles corrected, turning towards Buffy and bringing his coffee and one of the books with him. "Very old in fact."

Buffy sat up at the business-like tone of his voice.

"Is there a problem I should know about that needs very old research-y books? Demon on the loose, cult about to try to end the world, big nasty monster hoping to make tasty treats of unsuspecting high school kids?"

Giles placed his cup and the book down on the table in front of Buffy and removed his spectacles. He held them up to the light to check for smudges, pulling out his handkerchief and giving it a shake to remove the lint it had gathered in his pocket.

"Not that I'm aware of," he eventually replied just as Buffy was about to ask again. "The books are actually related to the slayer."

"To me?" Buffy questioned, a little puzzled.

He took a seat opposite Buffy, pushing his glasses back on and opening the book.

"Not exactly," he replied. "The slayer line."

He didn't elaborate and Buffy was beginning to get irritated with him. She wasn't in the mood for his slow and steady approach to everything. If there was something she needed to know then she wanted to know it now, not when he decided when it was a good time to divulge something he'd been mulling over for hours.

"I ask again. . .is there a problem?"

She placed her palms on the table top, bracing herself for anything bad he might tell her. Taking in Buffy's agitated state, Giles pushed the book aside and gave her his full attention.

"No problem," he assured. "I'm just making sure there are no repercussions with having two slayers on one Hellmouth."

Buffy sat back again but didn't exactly relax. Not that she'd be doing a whole lot of relaxing anyway after the last few days in which she'd managed to go from one disaster to another.

"You're worried something bad might happen?" Buffy asked, not planning to mention the bad thing that had already happened. Bad for her anyway.

"Not bad, just. . ." he paused; searching for an explanation Buffy wouldn't panic at. "I want to make sure there are no complications we're not yet aware of."

Far from inhibiting Buffy's rising panic levels Giles was only managing to make her worry more.

"Complications like what?" Buffy pressed, furrowing her brow.

Things were already complicated enough; surely they couldn't get any worse.

"Well, with such powerful magics involved it's important we know as much as we can about the ramifications of two active slayers," he answered. "The complications could range from nothing more than the slayers being unable to work well together, to there being a power struggle and one turning on the other, to. . .well, that's what I hope to discover. If any problems present themselves it would be prudent to be ready for them."

Buffy just stared at him, blinking slowly. She wasn't sure why he suddenly thought there would be any such problems; Faith had been with them for months now, and though they'd fought over Angel after Faith's psycho watcher had popped into Sunnydale, they'd been mostly been ok with each other. Everybody knew that Faith had a knack for rubbing Buffy up the wrong way, but Buffy had never worried that they might turn on each other for real. It was surprising to her that Giles thought it a possibility.

"Why do you think we'd turn on each other?" she asked, somewhat despondently.

Giles looked up from the book he had begun reading once more, smiling reassuringly at Buffy.

"Don't worry, I'm sure I'm just being overly cautious, Buffy," Giles explained, failing to reassure her. "I'm actually more interested in how the slayer line copes with anomalies such as this, if there's much of a precedent, and if it will affect any future slayers."

Buffy slouched back into her chair, not wanting to think of future slayers. There would only be future slayers if either she or Faith died.

"Great, so you're planning for the time either me or Faith gets killed. That's reassuring," she complained.

He gave Buffy an apologetic look and then continued to read.

"You know I have complete faith in you, Buffy," he said softly, using a rather unsettling choice of words – though he wouldn't have any idea why they would be unsettling to Buffy.

"And what about Faith?" Buffy asked when she realised he wasn't going to continue.

She may have suddenly been on shaky ground again with Faith but that didn't mean she wouldn't stand by her, or ensure Giles knew she was just as good a slayer as Buffy was herself. Well, maybe not quite as good, but good enough.

"And Faith of course," he added, giving Buffy a nod.

For some reason she didn't quite believe him. It made her a little sad - not only for Faith, but for herself too. She didn't like that he thought less of Faith or had less confidence in her, and she didn't want to believe that her watcher, her Giles, would look down on a person just because she was a little difficult sometimes.

Buffy sighed and decided not to push the issue. She didn't want to get into an argument – she had enough on her plate already. Whatever it was he was researching, and whatever he found, she was sure he was just being his usual fastidious self. It made her feel a bit uncomfortable, but he was just doing his job.

Luckily Xander and Willow arrived, as early as usual, before Giles could fill her head with anything more to stress about. With a small wave Buffy greeted them, forcing a smile onto her face as Willow waved back.

"Are we researching?" Willow asked as she practically skipped towards the table.

"He is, we're not," Buffy answered, trying to contain her slight disappointment in Giles.

She got up from the table, grabbing her bag and giving Giles one last doubtful glance before telling him they were leaving for class.

"Oh, already?" Giles asked, barely pulling his gaze away from his musty old book.

"Yup," Buffy answered, already walking towards the door with her friends. "I'll tell you about last night's patrol later. Not that anything exciting happened."

He nodded and went back to his reading and Buffy grimaced; she wasn't sure she wanted to know if he found any possible future problems that could occur now that Faith was there. Things between her and Faith were a bit fraught and the last thing they needed was the watcher's council doing tests or. . .sending one of them away.

Buffy slowed her pace as she thought about the possibility of Faith leaving. She didn't want that. As much as it would solve her biggest problem right now she still wanted Faith around.

"You ok, Buff?" Xander asked as Buffy practically stopped in the middle of the hallway.

He put his hand on her shoulder and she looked at him sadly. She wasn't ok, but she couldn't really talk about it. How could she tell them what she'd done, and what was troubling her? She didn't even know where to begin.

"Yeah," she replied quietly, giving him an ineffective smile.

Willow and Xander looked at each other, frowning. They clearly didn't believe her.

"Why don't we go chill in the cafeteria before class; we've got a while to wait anyway," Xander suggested, giving an encouraging nod to Willow.

"Sounds like a plan," Willow agreed on cue.

Buffy just shrugged her shoulders. She was tired – exhausted in fact. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. Her argument with Angel kept playing on repeat in her head, amongst other things, and she felt so guilty it was like carrying around a dead weight on her shoulders.

They all shoved their bags into their lockers and then Buffy followed her friends towards the cafeteria, thankful that it was fairly empty as they flopped down into some seats. The few other people in the room were down at the other end and though she could smell the sickly aroma of badly cooked breakfast food, Buffy felt like she could – or should – just relax.

Her friends were doing their best to distract her, making jokes and being their usual selves, and it was definitely helping. Though Xander and Willow had their own guilt at present, it was good to be in their company; she'd been spending far too much time away from them lately. That was another Faith related issue. In fact, everything seemed to come back to Faith these days.

It's why she'd been arguing with Angel.

"So are you gonna tell us what's wrong or do we have to tie you up and tickle it out of you?" Willow asked, giving Buffy her concerned face.

Buffy shook her head, trying to clear it so she could concentrate on what Willow was saying. Something about being tied up?

"What?" Buffy asked, a little shocked. "You. . .you're gonna. . .what?"

Her eyebrows rose up into her hairline and she wished she'd been paying attention.

"We're gonna tickle it out of you," Willow repeated.

"Oh," Buffy responded with a relieved sigh. "Tickle what out of me?"

Willow rolled her eyes and Xander chuckled. Buffy wasn't following whatever the hell was going on; she had been too busy thinking about Faith and the mess she was in because of her.

"The reason you're being all gloomy and not here," Willow informed her.

"I'm here."

Xander shook his head no. "You're definitely somewhere else," he noted. "Which is cool if it's a good somewhere else with palm trees and long beaches, with hula girls in little skirts and. . .ok, maybe not hula girls for you, but sun and beaches is mostly of the good."

"But it's not cool if you're in a bad place, with depressing thoughts," Willow continued for him. "We don't wanna lose our Buffy again."

She gave Buffy a concerned look that clearly meant she was thinking of the time Buffy had just ran from her troubles instead of faced them. She couldn't blame them for worrying. That's not to say she didn't feel like poking them in the arm with a sharp stick for not allowing her to just bury it all inside, but she understood.

"I'm not going anywhere," Buffy reassured.

"But there is something wrong?" Willow pressed; her big, sympathetic eyes making Buffy crumble a little bit.

She'd been trying to keep control of herself since walking away from Angel's mansion last night after their fight. It had been heartbreaking, awful, and completely unavoidable. Buffy had done well not to just break down from self imposed misery, but she refused to slip into a state of sobbing and self pity. It was hard not slipping a little when her friends were being so concerned, however.

"I had. . ." a horrible argument. "It was. . ." all her own fault.

She took a steadying breath and tried to speak again, making more sense this time.

"Take your time, Buffy," Willow encouraged, laying her hand over Buffy's on the table. "But it's probably better getting it off your chest than keeping it all in."

Buffy let out a soft sob at that. She doubted talking about it would do anything but make everything worse. They didn't know the truth and probably shouldn't know it. Her eyes darted towards the other occupants of the room; they weren't paying attention, but her friends were and they were waiting for an explanation for the sudden tears.

Swiping at her cheeks to rid them of those tears, Buffy pulled her other hand away from Willow and shook her head. She couldn't do it. She couldn't tell them the truth.

"It's nothing," she lied badly. "We should go."

She got up to leave but the concern wasn't leaving her friend's faces. In fact they now looked more worried than ever.

"Is it Angel?" Willow asked, surprising Buffy.

"Why. . .why would it be Angel?" Buffy asked, trying to cover as she heard the quiver in her voice and fought back more tears.

"It's always Angel, Buffy," Xander pointed out a tad unkindly.

Buffy gave him an angry glare but she couldn't really say anything as he was right - kind of. It was about Angel, but it wasn't about Angel in the way they probably thought it was.

She sat down again, heavily, letting the weight on her shoulders drag her into the plastic seat. Everything was falling apart around her and she had no idea how to fix it. Any of it. She'd made a huge mistake. No, she'd made two huge mistakes and she was completely confused and didn't know which mistake she needed to try to fix most of all.

"I've really screwed up," Buffy let slip, tasting salty tears on her lips as she spoke.

"Oh, Buffy," Willow said; offering her hand again, which Buffy took. "What happened?"

Glancing from Xander to Willow, then around the room to make sure nobody else was listening or looking, Buffy decided she wanted to tell them. They'd understand. They'd stand by her and tell her she was ok, and that everything was going to be ok. It's what they did. They were her support team.

"I did something really bad to Angel," Buffy admitted quietly. "We argued last night and I think. . .I think we're over."

She avoided looking at Xander, knowing there would be a hint of a smile on his lips with that little piece of info. Willow was all wounded and sad looking so Buffy knew she wasn't harbouring secret desires for Buffy to break up with Angel. Not obvious ones at least.

"Maybe you could talk to him today, Buffy," Willow suggested hopefully. "I'm sure you'd be able to patch things up. I mean, you're Buffy, and he's Angel. You're meant to be together."

Buffy let out a body-jerking sob, lifting a hand to her mouth to try to stop herself. There had been a time she would completely have agreed with that statement, but after what she'd done. . .she doubted its truth. She doubted everything about them and what they'd been, and about herself.

"I don't think this is fixable," Buffy said shakily, feeling Xander's gentle hand rubbing her back as her friends tried to comfort her. "I don't even know if I want it to be."

That little truth shocked her as much as it shocked her friends. Since Angel had disappeared all she'd wanted was him back. All she'd thought of and dreamt of was him. Her heart had ached for him and every day she'd wished he was there for her, with her. But now. . .it was different. She didn't know what she felt. Didn't know what she thought, wanted, or how to proceed. Everything had happened so quickly.

"So, what did you do that was so bad?" Xander asked, his voice tender and understanding, despite his dislike of Angel.

Closing her eyes momentarily and deciding whether or not she should just tell them, Buffy felt her guts twisting into a knot. Would they think any less of her? Would they understand, or at least try to? She didn't know, but she had to trust in the fact they had always been there for her in the past. Through thick and thin they'd stayed by her side.

"I. . ." she paused, letting tears slip from her eyelashes to the dull grey of the table. "I cheated on him."

There was a soft gasp from Willow, and Xander's hand stopped rubbing her back for a few brief seconds. She hoped they didn't think less of her, but how could they not?

"Wow," Willow finally said as Buffy opened her eyes and looked at her closest friend.

"Well I wasn't expecting that," Xander chipped in, his eyebrows high on his forehead in surprise.

"Yeah, me neither," Buffy mumbled, feeling truly awful about the whole thing for many different reasons.

"Was it Scott?" Willow asked after what seemed like forever sat in stunned silence.

Buffy shook her head, but then paused. Maybe it would be easier if they thought it was him. She could just say yes and then ask them never to talk about it again. But she couldn't do that. What she'd done would have further reaching repercussions than wrecking her already strained relationship with Angel. She had to be truthful, no matter the consequences.

"No, it wasn't Scott," Buffy responded, almost telling them exactly who it had been.

She stumbled on her words, failing to get them out as Willow gave her hand a squeeze. Hanging her head in shame and agonizing over whether or not she should say anything more, Buffy felt her heart pounding in her chest. She looked around; at her friends, at her hands, at the blue sky outside through the windows. It felt like she couldn't catch her breath, and she was beginning to feel dizzy. This was what fear felt like. This was panic. This was knowing what she had to say would change everything. Well maybe not everything, but it would change a lot of things, and she didn't want to lose her friends. She didn't want to be judged or condemned.

"You can tell us," Willow encouraged. "If you want to."

Buffy took a deep breath, the air stinging her lungs and making her shudder. How had she managed to get herself into such a predicament? Why couldn't she have been stronger, better, straighter?

"I cheated on him with. . ." Buffy flicked her gaze between Xander and Willow, scared of what their reaction would be but desperate to get it off her chest, "with Faith."

She exhaled shakily and looked down at the crumb strewn table to avoid the probable judgment in their eyes that she felt she deserved. Her head shot back up again as Xander winced in pain as his elbow slid off the table, scraping his forearm. His mouth was hanging open and eyes wide, though not as wide as Willow's.

Neither of them said anything and Buffy shrank back, waiting for it to sink in. They stared and she waited. They blinked and she bit her lower lip. They clearly hadn't been expecting that.

After what felt like several minutes of stunned silence in which both of Buffy's friends just stared blankly at her, she decided somebody needed to speak.

"I'm guessing that was a bit of a shock," she ventured, looking back and forth between them both.

"It. . .um, I think. . .yeah," Willow stuttered.

Xander continued to stare, though he was staring off into the distance now with glazed eyes and a weird expression.

"Xander," Buffy said firmly, "stop thinking about me and Faith having. . ." She couldn't say the word, finding herself as lost in the thought as Xander seemed to be. "Just stop."

Xander shook his head and pulled his eyes back to Buffy, a small smile drifting over his lips.

"Sorry," he mumbled, shuffling uncomfortably in his seat and rubbing at his elbow. "I didn't even know she was. . .yunno. Or that you were."

Buffy rubbed at her brow, feeling a migraine starting to form at the prospect of having to explain. She didn't even know how to explain; it had crept up on her subtly, unexpectedly. There was no way she could make them understand when she didn't even fully understand it herself.

"Was this. . .recently?" Willow asked, her eyes beginning to return to their normal size and eyebrows slowly edging back down from her red hair.

She sounded a little shaken, her voice quiet. Her hand was still holding Buffy's but now it felt a little awkward so Buffy pulled away.

"A few days ago," Buffy confessed, feeling her heart rate slowly decreasing and her lungs relaxing.

The worst confession was out now, and nobody had fainted or ran screaming from the building - yet.

"And I didn't know that she was either, Xander," Buffy said, responding to his veiled question. "Or that I. . .liked her like that. I mean, I knew something, but it's all so confusing."

Buffy buried her face in her hands, resting her elbows on the table and wishing that she could turn back time. No, that wasn't quite right; she didn't want it to not have happened, but she did wish things had happened differently, and maybe not so fast. And she definitely wished that Angel hadn't found out in the way he had.

"So how did Angel find out?" Willow asked, as if reading her mind.

Buffy sighed and rubbed at her face before removing her hands.

"He saw us," she told them.

Xander's mouth once again hung open, making his next words somewhat garbled.

"He saw you? As in. . .saw you? When you were. . ."

His eyes glazed over once again and Buffy couldn't help but chuckle. He was such a guy.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, her stomach twisting with butterflies as she recalled that night.

No matter how guilty she felt and how upset about Angel she was, there was no denying that she'd loved being with Faith. She'd loved every second of it. It hadn't been until the following morning that things went horribly wrong; once again all Buffy's own fault. She'd panicked and escaped in a hurry, leaving Faith not knowing what the hell came next, or if there even was a next.

They hadn't spoken since.

"Everything's such a mess," Buffy muttered mostly to herself, slumping even further into her seat.

"I'm sorry, Buffy," Willow offered, patting her arm as if it was her fault and she had something to apologise for.

With a sigh, Buffy gave Willow a grateful smile and made herself force back any further tears. Her eyes were red enough and she didn't want people looking at her any weirder than they already did.

"So are you with Faith now?" Willow asked tentatively, sounding like she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to know the answer.

Buffy shook her head and peered out of the window, recalling the look on Faith's face as she'd rushed out of the door barely dressed. She'd told Faith it had been a mistake and it had clearly hurt. And Buffy knew now that had been a lie - or at least a half truth. It had been a mistake to give in when they had, but it had been brewing for a while. The inevitable would have jumped out at them eventually, and there was no escaping that fact.

"No," Buffy said sadly. "I screwed that up too."

Tears pricked at her eyes again and she felt like there was no way out of the chaos she'd created. She'd lost Angel, and she'd treated Faith in a way she felt ghastly about. There was probably no way of fixing either calamity, and she doubted she deserved either Angel's or Faith's forgiveness.

"This is probably a dumb question," Xander began, "but do you want to be with her? I mean, for more than sexy shenanigans – and can I just say. . .with what's in my head right now I totally vote yes to you being with her."

Both Willow and Buffy rolled their eyes, small smiles breaking some of the tension and easing a little stress from Buffy's shoulders.

Buffy thought about it for a second and chose to take the easy way out for now. "I don't know what I want," she answered.

It wasn't exactly a lie as she really didn't know for sure, but telling them that she had more reason to try to fix things with Faith than she did with her boyfriend would probably be one confession too far.

"I'm confused, and feeling stupid and ashamed, and. . .I don't know what to do for the best."

Willow gave her a sympathetic sigh and nodded in understanding.

"Well we're here for you no matter what, but you should do what feels right," Xander told her, sounding unusually mature and sensible for once. "You should do what makes you happy."

It sounded simple, but things were never simple. She thought she had been happy – or as happy as she could be under the strange and unusual circumstances of her boyfriend coming back from hell and wanting to be with her again. It should have been wonderful, and it had been. . .but Faith had been on Buffy's mind since she first arrived, and that hadn't stopped with Angel's reappearance.

She'd tried to ignore the niggling feeling she got around Faith in order to concentrate on making things work again with Angel, but it had all fallen apart. There was no ignoring how Faith had made her feel, piqued her curiosity, and generally sent her into a spin she had no control over.

If she was being totally honest with herself, Buffy had to concede that she would like to be with Faith again, not just for the naughty stuff. . .but properly. In a way Faith probably wasn't even interested in.

"Xander's right," Willow chipped in as they stood in unison and started making their way to class. "We just want you to be happy."

Happy sounded nice, but it also sounded far away, out of reach.

"I don't know if she'd want more than. . .yunno," Buffy said with a slight blush creeping over her cheeks. "I don't think she's the relationship type."

They strolled slowly down the corridor, squeezing past the other students that hardly paid them any attention at all. Buffy tried not to wonder if people could tell there was something different about her now. She felt different. Being with Faith had made her not only feel differently but also think differently. The experience had been. . .well, it had been perfect, amazing, incredible; at least until she'd messed it up in the morning.

"Haven't you spoken to Faith about it?" Willow asked.

Buffy looked at her sadly as they entered their classroom, finding their seats quickly and waiting for the teacher to arrive.

"I haven't spoken to her at all, not since. . ."

"Wait, has she left town?" Xander questioned, puffing up his chest as if he wanted to defend Buffy's honor.

Shaking her head no, Buffy looked down at her hands.

"I've kinda been avoiding her," she admitted.

"Oh, Buffy," Willow murmured, sounding caught between disappointment and understanding.

"Like I said, I've made a mess of everything and I don't know how to fix it."

Xander patted her back and Willow didn't seem to have any idea what to say next, but they were saved by the arrival of the teacher. Buffy would have to spend most of the rest of the day putting her dilemma to the back of her mind until she had the chance to dwell and agonize again. Of course, trying to concentrate on lessons didn't automatically mean she'd be able to stop thinking about Faith. She'd done a lot of thinking about Faith in the past few months when meant to be concentrating on other things.

The day idled by slowly and Buffy grew more depressed by the hour. Not even her friend's attempts at cheering her up helped. They just made it worse as they were being far too understanding. She would have coped with their admonishment better than their sympathy. She didn't think she deserved to be felt sorry for.

As the clock ticked down to the end of the school day it became more and more obvious to Buffy that she needed to choose what she wanted to do. And she needed to act on her decision sooner rather than later. She would either have to take the easy route and attempt to put things right with Angel so they could carry on as they had been, or she would have to face Faith and apologise for being cruel and hurtful the morning after their unexpected night of passion. Both options would require her to do some major damage control, but only one option truly appealed.

Buffy had to decide if choosing that option was really worth all the hassle it would bring. Not only hassle, but everything that went along with being different, being ripe for judgment. It would mean having to tell her mother, and Giles. It would mean she'd have to accept that part of herself that she'd tried to suppress since Faith had burst into her life.

She wasn't sure if she was strong enough.

TBC. . .


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

The gang trudged one by one into the quietness of the library as most of Sunnydale High's other students made their way home. Nobody thought it was unusual for them to stay late in the library. Nobody ever questioned it.

"So, you should maybe talk to Faith as soon as you can," Willow advised as the subject matter of the day rolled around once again. "Maybe you could patrol with her tonight if she's still around."

"Maybe," Buffy mumbled without conviction.

It's not that she didn't want to patrol with Faith, or talk to her – she very much wanted to talk to her – but she was worried about how Faith would be. Things could only be awkward and strained between them after not speaking for three days.

"We could come with," Xander suggested, looking far too happy about that prospect. "Be your wingmen, and maybe bring a video camera for posterity."

He was grinning, and clearly indulging in some images best kept to himself.

"Stop thinking about it," Buffy warned, slapping him in the midriff with the back of her hand as they turned down the library corridor.

She wasn't entirely comfortable with Xander thinking about her doing the deed with Faith, even if it was – and had been – hot as hell.

"Hey, you can't exactly blame me, Buff," he stated with a grimace. "Maybe if you told us more about it I could stop making up whole scenarios in my head."

"Um, can I opt out of the whole being told thing?" Willow asked, raising her hand.

She was pulling a face that made it quite clear she'd find any kind of in-depth description a traumatic experience.

"There will be no re-telling of that night's events," Buffy assured, letting her own mind wander to that night just a little and finding a salacious smile teasing at her lips.

"Ok, that's so not fair," Xander whined, pointing at her grin. "You can't smile all dirty grin-like and expect me not to keep thinking about it. In fact, I might need some sketches to go along with these things in my head."

This time Willow batted him in the stomach, far harder than Buffy had. He made an oof sound and bent over, holding his stomach and glaring at Willow.

"Behave," she warned. "This is a difficult time for Buffy."

"Sorry," he mumbled, giving Buffy his best wounded puppy look.

Buffy shook her head and chuckled, feeling thankful for having such good friends despite her rotten mood. In fact, her friends were pretty amazing when it came right down to it and she knew she was incredibly lucky to have them. Maybe everything would work out in the end.

"Come on," she instructed with a laugh, pushing her way into the library.

But then maybe it wouldn't.

"Hey, B," Faith greeted with a curt nod as the gang all strolled towards her. "Guys."

Willow and Xander both looked at Buffy and back to Faith, faces clearly indicating that they didn't know what to say.

"Hi," Buffy replied quietly, dropping her bag onto the counter.

Her breath seemed caught in her chest and her stomach twisted and turned. The last time she'd seen Faith was as she'd looked back at her from the motel doorway. Faith had still been naked; the sheet barely held up to her chest as she'd watched Buffy leave. It was difficult looking at her now and not seeing the memory of the hurt expression on her face, remembering the way her body felt after a night with Faith making her scream her name, recalling how good it was, but then how scared she'd become by morning.

Faith was hovering by the table and Giles was mumbling about something in his office. Buffy knew she should just try to pretend that nothing was wrong, or strange, but everything felt off and uneasy. This wasn't going to be simple and she couldn't help but feel stupid for having avoided Faith for the past few days. She'd only managed to make things more difficult than they might have otherwise been.

"I'm glad you popped in, Buffy," Giles said as he breezed out of his office and dumped yet more books onto the already overflowing table. "I was just telling Faith about how the dual existence of two slayers has happened before."

Buffy nodded, not really paying attention as she noticed how her friends were still looking uncomfortable as they slowly occupied some seats. They didn't seem to know where to look, and were being oddly quiet. Pretty soon it would become obvious to Giles that something was wrong, and the last thing Buffy needed was her watcher snooping into her sex life.

"Cool," Buffy said, a little too enthusiastically. "Um. . .I think."

Faith chuckled and shook her head, but it didn't sound like she was laughing with Buffy, more like at her. It made Buffy even sadder; the prospect of things between them going backwards really not filling her with happy thoughts and feelings.

"I've yet to read all the details and it was a very long time ago, but interesting certainly," Giles said with a kind smile. "Now, do you have anything to tell me about your patrol last night?" he asked, looking at both Faith and Buffy.

Of course, he'd be expecting them to have patrolled together. There was no reason to think otherwise.

"It was quiet," Buffy answered, glancing over at Faith and trying not to notice that she looked kind of – somewhat totally - hot that day.

"Yeah," Faith muttered, corroborating Buffy's reply.

She was avoiding Buffy's eyes and seemed unusually nervous; her feet shuffling around and making little squeaking noises on the floor. Buffy looked down at Faith's boots – the same ones she'd helped Faith pull off just a few nights ago. She was wearing tight leather pants and a small top, and Buffy had to force her gaze away before it became really obvious she was staring, and possibly drooling.

"So, no new demons or vampire nests we should be aware of?" Giles asked, causing Buffy to quickly snap her head to the right to look at him rather than continuing to ogle Faith.

"No."

"Nope."

"Well that's good," Giles stated, sounding somewhat disappointed.

The quietness in the library was becoming unbearable and Buffy wished her friends would just act normally, even if they didn't feel like it. If she had to stand around trying not to gaze at Faith any longer, she'd do something or say something really stupid, as was her way when she felt antsy. She gave Xander a lingering look that she hoped conveyed her imminent distress.

"Soooo," Xander began, breaking the silence with a little too much gusto, "we goin' Bronzing this weekend?"

Giles took that as a cue to go about his library business, leaving the rest of them hanging around awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"That sounds like a good idea," Willow added, doing something strange with her eyebrows that probably indicated that Buffy should agree.

"Sure," Buffy said, quickly catching Faith's eyes but not seeing any hints to how she was feeling.

"Maybe Faith could come too," Willow pressed, now jerking her head in Faith's direction as well as doing the weird thing with her eyebrows.

Buffy furrowed her brow and noted the anxious expression starting to form on Faith's face. This situation was about to go from bad to worse. Faith didn't like pity. She despised it.

"Of course," Buffy quickly agreed, smiling at Faith. "You should definitely come with us. In fact, we won't take no for an answer. It'll be fun. Funner than fun." She was babbling now and on track to making a complete idiot of herself. "You like fun, and dancing. There's dancing at the Bronze."

"I think Faith knows what happens at the Bronze, Buffy," Xander interrupted, gaining him a grateful sigh from Buffy.

She looked down at her feet as Faith locked her eyes on her, making her feel vulnerable and guilty.

"Sounds like fun," Faith replied, the heavy hint of sarcasm clinging to each word. "If I'm around I'll stop by."

If she's around? What did that mean? Buffy didn't like the sound of that. Of course, she had no right to ask, or feel put out by Faith's attitude; if it hadn't been for Buffy's own actions then Faith wouldn't have been like this with her at all. She realised she couldn't leave things the way they were. It was beyond awkward and only set to get worse. If she was going to salvage something with Faith – even friendship – then she needed to do something.

Ignoring her friends for the moment and stepping closer to Faith, Buffy took more of a risk than she thought she was ready for.

"Faith, we probably need to talk," she said softly so that Giles wouldn't hear. "Can we?"

She hovered close to Faith, feeling her friend's gazes searing into her back. Pushing down her instinct just to leave things to fix themselves, Buffy refused to let her fear get the better of her even though Faith's face was hard - closed off and obviously not in the mood to let Buffy in again.

"I need to apologize," Buffy told her.

Faith gave her an incredulous look, crossing her arms, hardening her jaw, and letting the warmth Buffy had always just about been able to see give way to a coldness in her eyes. That coldness gave her a chill down her spine, and she never wanted to see it again. If Faith wouldn't talk to her then there was no hope for them. They would just continue as before. No, they'd be more distant than before; their friendship had actually been going well until that night. Buffy wanted that back. She hoped they could be ok, and perhaps be something more than just friends. . .if Faith was willing to try that.

Running a hand through her straightened hair, Faith took an apparent breath, glancing over at Xander and Willow. She turned back to Buffy with a suspicious expression.

"They know don't they," she stated, her husky voice igniting the desire in Buffy that she'd previously been able to ignore.

She couldn't ignore it now, not after what they'd shared.

Though their night together had been unexpected, it also wasn't all that surprising on many levels, especially after the way they'd opened up to each other. There had always definitely been an attraction for Faith that Buffy couldn't just put down to some juvenile crush. She was old enough to know what desire was and what it felt like, and she had that for Faith. It had been there from the start. Out of fear she'd pushed it down or used their slayer connection as an excuse for it, but she'd always known the truth. When she'd look at Faith and take long minutes just imagining what her lips felt like, she knew what it was she felt. There was no escaping it even if it did scare the hell out of her.

The night it had all come to a head had started like any other night. They'd met to patrol and swept through the smaller cemeteries before heading to Restfield. They had a tip off that at least three new vampires were going to rise out of their graves that night. Rather than wait for them to be running amok amongst the gravestones, they decided to lay in wait for them. New vampires tended to rise at a particular time of night, so they knew they could get the jump on them if they just sat around a short time with their stakes at the ready.

_**Three nights ago. . .**_

"Guess this is the spot," Faith pointed out, nodding towards three fresh graves sat side by side.

Buffy strode towards them, checking to see if they'd been disturbed yet. The graves were all in tact; little temporary headstones marking them. Apparently they were all roommates at college, turned by a vampire and his posse in the hopes of building a small army. It wasn't unusual; vampires always thought they could gather more to strengthen their numbers, and then launch an attack on the resident slayer. It never worked out for them.

"They shouldn't be too strong," Buffy said needlessly.

"Been a slow night; coulda done with a good fight," Faith grumbled, looking around for somewhere to sit.

Buffy watched her as Faith pulled off her jacket and laid it out in front of a large headstone. She made a chivalrous gesture for Buffy to sit down on it and Buffy gave her a grateful, girlie smile. They'd been getting along so much better lately; getting used to how different they were, learning to accommodate each other and minimize the risk of unnecessary arguments.

"Thanks," Buffy said as she flopped down onto the denim jacket, placing her stake beside her.

She tried to leave enough room for Faith to sit too, even though it didn't look like Faith expected to be offered a seat on her own jacket.

"Here," she said, patting the small space next to her.

Faith hesitated, but then sat down, not doing a very good job of hiding the fact she was trying not to get too close. It was just another clue for Buffy, and she was piecing them all together, coming to the conclusion that Faith liked her. Not just in a best buddy way either.

It had worried Buffy at first, but she was getting used to it. She was also getting used to the fact she kind of felt the same. Despite the fact she was supposed to be making a go of things with Angel again, she just couldn't get Faith out of her mind. Everything about Faith appealed to her; even her stubbornness and impudence. There had to be a point where she gave up fighting, and it was getting close. Buffy could no longer ignore the way she looked at Faith, and the way she thought about her. She could no longer deny that she wanted Faith to like her, and that she was actually encouraging her now. It was wrong - she had a boyfriend – but Buffy couldn't help herself.

"I'm itching for a good slay," Faith stated as they sat side by side with their backs against the headstone behind them. "Gettin' all antsy with these quiet nights."

Buffy could tell; Faith had been hopping around all night, full of unspent energy and bravado. It would have annoyed her a month or so ago, but it actually made her smile now. Faith's enthusiasm rubbed off on her, and she liked seeing her be all giddy and carefree. It made Faith seem younger – or her age at least - and she let go of some of her defences and the angst that sat heavy on her shoulders most days.

"I know what you mean," Buffy agreed.

"Yeah?" Faith asked, sounding like she couldn't quite believe that Buffy would own up to that fact.

"Yeah," Buffy replied, smiling over at Faith as the other girl looked at her doubtfully. "I like slaying too yunno, just not quite as intensely as you do."

She laughed so that Faith would know she was only joking with her and Faith chuckled as she shook her head.

"Always knew you were a sly one, B," Faith jibed, elbowing Buffy in the side as she grinned all triumphantly.

"Hey, I never said I didn't like it. . .you just assumed."

"Was a little hard not to, Twinkie," Faith pointed out. "All that talk of it being some kinda burden, how it didn't do anything for ya, and the whole low fat yoghurt crap. Never believed it for a second."

Buffy's eyes went a little wide. Were they still talking about slaying?

"We're still talking about slaying right?" she asked, giving Faith a funny look.

"Well I was, but now I don't know. What just went through that pretty little head of yours?"

Looking away so she wouldn't blush about exactly what did go through her head these days where Faith was concerned, she felt it was probably better to just change the subject. As much as she liked the progress they were making with each other and where it was headed, she was still scared. It was still new and somewhat terrifying.

"We shouldn't be waiting for these vamps much longer," Buffy said abruptly, looking at her watch.

Avoiding looking back at Faith – mainly because she knew she'd see a smug smile at having been caught out – Buffy wrapped her arms around herself and gazed up at the stars above. The sky was clear, which made star gazing possible, but it also meant that there was a slight chill in the air.

"You cold, B?" Faith asked, thankfully going with the change of subject.

She appeared to be shivering a little herself and Buffy felt bad for sitting on her jacket.

"A little," she confessed. "Are you? I can just sit on the ground if you. . ."

"It's cool," Faith interrupted.

Buffy couldn't help but smile warmly at Faith, enjoying the way it made Faith's eyes sparkle. Faith had started to become more and more kind to Buffy over the last month; sweet even. She was still all crude jokes and balls to the wall attitude, but it was tempered by a new, caring disposition when it came to Buffy.

"Exactly," Buffy pointed out.

"I didn't mean that."

"I know."

They shared a smile this time and Buffy allowed her gaze to drift over Faith – as subtly as possible. She could see that Faith was indeed a little chilly, as her tight top left very little to the imagination. Looking away quickly, Buffy felt her own nipples harden, but from something other than the cool air.

"So," Buffy began, hoping she'd gotten away with her little bit of ogling, stalling when she realised she had nothing more to say.

"Is there a sentence that goes with that?" Faith asked, snickering at her.

"Apparently not," Buffy confessed, laughing along with Faith.

"You're pretty special yunno, B. Like short-bus special."

"Funny," Buffy responded sarcastically. "I'm just a little. . ."

"Blonde? Retarded? Short changed on the brain cell front?"

Buffy gave Faith a whack in the arm, rolling her eyes but feeling unable to get mad at her. She was just being Faith; finding any reason and any possible way to have a joke at Buffy's expense. She knew now that Faith didn't mean it, and that it wasn't meant in a way that others might think. Like a little boy in a playground, Faith was metaphorically pulling Buffy's hair because she liked her.

"No, I'm just a little. . ." Buffy ran her bottom lip through her teeth and then turned towards Faith a little more. "What's going on with us?" she asked hurriedly.

Faith furrowed her brow, peering intently at Buffy as if she had no idea what answer was expected of her.

"What do you mean?" Faith questioned, her face almost comically twisted in complete puzzlement.

It was quite adorable.

"I mean. . .this," she replied, failing to actually explain herself at all.

"You mean sitting in a graveyard waitin' to slay 'this'? Or another 'this'?"

Buffy took a breath and instantly wished she could travel back in time a few minutes so she could slap herself for ever having broached the subject. But it had needed to be broached; they couldn't go on pretending there was nothing running under the surface of their 'friendship' in the way they had. It was getting silly, and irritating, not to mention frustrating. If they didn't talk about it soon there was the strong possibility that they'd turn the situation between them on its head and start arguing again. Buffy didn't like the prospect of things going bad between them once more.

"These mixed signals, Faith," Buffy said softly, gazing into Faith's brown eyes. "I'm not exactly sure what they mean."

For a second it looked like Faith was about to refute that there were any signals to be confused about, but then something changed and she looked at Buffy with complete honesty.

"You tell me, B," she said. "I never know how to read you. You're not exactly an open book."

Buffy couldn't deny that; she'd spent a lot of her time misleading Faith and all out lying to her – certainly about Angel. She'd done it to protect herself, but now she wasn't sure she wanted to continue to protect herself from what she felt. It was pretty futile.

"But I'm not making it up am I?" Buffy pressed. "There is. . .something."

With a smile that Buffy rarely saw from Faith – as it was neither a grin nor a smirk – Faith nodded.

"There's something," she admitted. "For me at least."

Her last words seemed less confident, like she was unsure how Buffy would react. Buffy couldn't blame Faith for being cautious. As far as Faith knew Buffy was completely straight, and unavailable. Both were true, or at least until recently.

"Well I'm glad it wasn't all in my head or I'd be looking pretty silly right now," Buffy said with a nervous chuckle.

"Silly is normal for you, B," Faith pointed out before continuing. "But what do we do about. . .this? Last I checked you were all loved up with Angel."

Though she couldn't quite believe they were actually having this conversation, it was a good thing. Even if it didn't go anywhere it was best to be honest.

Sighing, unable to really explain what she had with Angel and how it affected things, Buffy twisted around a little way, moving back against the headstone and rubbing at her arms. The cold was beginning to become an issue and she really wished they could just go; but a slayer had to do what a slayer had to do.

"I wouldn't exactly call it loved up," Buffy responded quietly. "But you're right, this could get pretty complicated."

She heard Faith shuffling next to her and almost leapt up in shock when she felt arms wrap around her. Faith pulled Buffy into her so she was resting back against her shoulder instead of the cold stone, Faith's warm body instantly making Buffy relax.

"So do you think we should ignore the fact we wanna get wriggly with each other?" Faith asked.

Buffy didn't think she could ignore it anymore, but they couldn't just leap into something. Not only did she have to consider Angel, but she also had to consider the fact that Faith really wasn't relationship material. She doubted it would go beyond the getting wriggly, and she couldn't quite decided if that was worth the risks she'd be taking. Either way, Buffy knew they shouldn't recklessly leap into bed with each other; as much as the thought made Buffy's stomach flop around, she'd never been the kind of girl to go so fast.

"I don't think I can ignore it," Buffy replied, feeling surprisingly comfortable against Faith. "But I don't think I'm ready to do anything about it yet. And there's Angel; we're still. . .yunno."

Feeling Faith's body stiffen slightly, Buffy was worried she'd just blown any future chance with her. She was trying to be honest and open for once, but of course that didn't mean she wouldn't mess everything up. For now she just wanted to stay close to Faith. Feeling the rise and fall of her chest and the strong arms around her made Buffy that much closer to just letting go with Faith. Her warmth was delicious and scent intoxicating. There was no way this could be wrong.

"I get it, B," Faith said, sounding somewhat put out. "If I'm getting this right then it sounds like you're hot for me. . .but you're still hotter for him."

She sounded almost sad, though she was trying to hide it from her voice. Buffy knew her well enough to detect it, though. Turning around slightly in Faith's arms, almost purring at the way Faith's breast brushed against her upper arm, Buffy looked into her eyes.

"I'm not saying that," she said tenderly. "This is just totally new to me."

"Yunno, it's new for me too," Faith confessed, taking Buffy back a little.

"I thought maybe you'd. . ."

"Yeah, well you thought wrong," she informed Buffy, turning her eyes away from her as she spoke softly.

Faith's arms were beginning to release Buffy as Faith obviously decided being this close and tender was no longer necessary. Buffy didn't like that; she'd been enjoying Faith's thoughtful gesture to keep her warm. She'd been enjoying how good it felt to be held by Faith. It felt different than being held by a boy or a man, but a good kind of different. She supposed there would be a lot of good kind of 'differents' about being with a girl. It made her smile.

"I think I just need a little time," Buffy said, letting Faith drop her arms and move away.

"Take all the time in the world, B."

Faith definitely sounded upset now; the bad kind of upset that meant she was actually kind of pissed about the situation. Though she wasn't meaning to, Buffy guessed it probably felt a little like she was leading Faith on.

"We got company," Faith continued before Buffy could say anything, or put things right.

She looked towards the graves and saw hands breaking the barrier of the fresh soil, grabbing for the surface. Before she knew it Faith was launching herself forwards at the new vampires, eager to slay. That of course meant that her eagerness would cause her to be sloppy, and possibly dangerous.

"Faith, wait!" Buffy called out, getting to her feet as Faith rushed ahead.

"The waiting game is your deal, B," Faith answered sardonically. "I'm not the type to wait around."

There was a hidden meaning to that but Buffy didn't have time to dwell on it. She wasn't stupid, however, and realised that Faith was giving her a warning. Faith probably wasn't going to give Buffy the time to decide what to do about them. It was now or never. That didn't exactly sound fair, but Faith had never been one to play by everyone else's rules.

As Buffy got hold of her stake she watched Faith pull one of the vampires out of the ground forcibly, throwing him into a large tree and grinning evilly at the loud crack it made. She didn't waste time staking him just yet, turning towards the other two vampires Buffy was now approaching.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

"You get slick, I'll get the big guy," Faith told her excitedly, pointing at the small guy with slicked back hair and then jumping at the largest vampire of the three.

She started wailing on him while Buffy got close to her rather confused looking vampire.

"Welcome back to life," Buffy quipped. "Unfortunately your stay's gonna be pretty short this time."

"Huh?" slick grunted, watching as his friend became Faith's punching bag as the other one peeled himself off the tree.

"You vampire, me slayer."

He still seemed none the wiser and Buffy rolled her eyes. This guy obviously hadn't been studying anything too difficult in college that's for sure. Without much more fuss, Buffy raised her staking arm and advanced quickly towards him. He coward back and Buffy felt momentarily sorry for him, but then his face shifted and long fangs prodded at his lower lip.

"What the. . ." he murmured around his new teeth, looking completely confused.

"Sorry," Buffy told him, always slightly perturbed when they failed to fight back or even run.

She quickly found his undead heart with her stake, plunging in and out of his chest and watching him disintegrate. A cool breeze blew the dust right at Buffy, into her eyes. She closed them but it was too late; the stinging making her lift her hands up to her face to swipe away the grit.

"Shit!" Buffy heard to her left.

Blinking furiously to clear her vision Buffy realised that Faith seemed to be in a spot of bother, which was always the case when she toyed with the vampires instead of killing them right away.

"Faith, what's going on? I can't see," she yelled towards Faith and the sound of struggling.

The more Buffy rubbed at her eyes the worse her vision seemed to get, but she could just about make out Faith trying to finish off one vampire as the other one swung a large tree branch towards her head.

"Duck!" Buffy called out, grabbing at her stake again and moving towards Faith.

Reacting quickly, Faith ducked, causing the vampire to hit his buddy in the head with the branch instead. He yelped in pain and Faith laughed, pushing the now dazed vampire to the ground as she turned towards the other one. Buffy kept moving, the dust finally clearing enough to see and aim her stake at the guy on the floor. She threw it and made sure he went poof before turning her attention to Faith.

With a resounding snap, Faith broke the remaining vampire's leg with a hard kick, yanking on the branch he was holding and taking it from him. He bared his fangs at her in anger, but he looked frightened.

"I'll teach you to come at me with foliage," Faith snarled at him, taking a swipe at him and sending him flying Buffy's way as it hit his midriff.

Buffy caught him, spinning him around and head-butting him in the face. She tasted blood from her own lip and regretted the move. The vampire caught the smell of her blood and his eyes glowed even more yellow than they were before. He ignored the pain in his leg and the overwhelming odds against him, straining in Buffy's hands to get towards her neck.

"Oh, dude, your breath smells like old diapers," Buffy complained, jerking her head back and bringing her knee up to catch him in the groin.

He slumped to the ground and Buffy saw Faith approaching with her stake ready to strike him. Annoyed that Faith had managed to turn a simple fight into a debacle, Buffy reached in her jacket pocket for her own fresh stake, speedily ending the vampire's misery before Faith could get the slay. She'd be pissed about that, but so was Buffy.

"Awww, come on, B!" Faith whined as dust sprinkled to the floor in front of Buffy. "You fucking staked all three. So not fucking fair."

She was balling her fists and glaring dangerously at Buffy, her nostrils flared in frustration. It almost looked like she was readying herself to fight, or to lash out at least. As worrying as that was, Buffy couldn't help but notice just how hot Faith looked when she was angry. Her eyes were dark and menacing, little flashes of gold within them making the brown glint and sparkle in the moonlight. Her body was taut and chest heaving with every breath. It really should have been illegal to look that good when irate.

Patting dust off her clothes, Buffy tried to ignore the tingle in the bottom of her stomach that Faith was busy causing.

She glared right back at Faith. "Faith," she said firmly, hoping to bring her back from the edge. "You were being reckless and fucking around. Somebody had to step in and get control."

Stepping closer, like a hunter closing in on its prey, Faith narrowed her eyes at Buffy.

"Don't Faith me," she warned, the current venom in her voice doing nothing to detract from its husky sexiness. "I wasn't fucking around."

Buffy was about to dispute that fact, raising a finger ready to wave it accusingly at Faith, but the other girl apparently wasn't done.

"And besides," Faith continued, her body getting far too close now for Buffy to ignore the way it made her long and yearn for contact with it, "the only fucking I wanna be doing right now is with you, and you're not about to. . ."

Buffy snapped, unable to stand Faith being so close without reacting. She lunged forward, grabbing Faith's face in her hands and bringing them together.

The kiss was hard and hurried and it took Faith a few seconds to react and kiss Buffy back, but when she did they both lost themselves to it. Clashing teeth and grasping lips were joined by tongues twisting and fighting for domination. There was an explosion of new tastes and sounds and feelings, and Buffy felt faint trying to distinguish one from another.

There was a hint of mint toothpaste, and chocolate flavoured lip-gloss. Faith's full lips were unlike any Buffy had kissed before; soft yet insistent, and oh so damn sexy. She allowed Faith's tongue to slip into her mouth, moaning quietly as she nudged at it with her own. In fact, she continued moaning as Faith pressed against her, bringing her hands up to Buffy's hips so she could pull them together. Her body felt electrified, on fire and starving for more contact. Buffy couldn't recall ever having felt so completely turned on before from just a kiss. Buffy never wanted it to end but she desperately needed to take a breath if she was going to avoid fainting on the spot.

Dropping her hands to Faith's shoulders, Buffy eased up a little, touching her lips to Faith's softer than before as she willed herself to break the kiss. Now she'd felt Faith's lips on her own she knew she was in trouble; there would be no going back now. There would be no longing for cold, dead kisses from her boyfriend when she'd had hot, sumptuous kisses from Faith. There really was no contest and it made Buffy want to indulge, to take what she wanted and be with Faith the way she'd been reluctantly fantasising about for months.

"Crap," Buffy murmured in consternation as she removed her lips from Faith.

"Well damn, that's definitely not what a girl wants to hear after being kissed," Faith said with a slight chuckle, keeping her hands on Buffy's hips as they looked into each other's eyes.

Buffy gave Faith a shy smile and shook her head, sliding her hands up around to the back of Faith's neck so she could touch the soft skin there. She licked her lips, tasting the lingering flavour of chocolate.

"I didn't mean it was crap," Buffy clarified, looking up through her lashes at Faith, "I just meant. . .I'm gonna want to do that again. A lot."

Running her hands up to Buffy's sides and back down to her hips a few times, doing more to urge Buffy on rather than make her come to her senses, Faith gave her a lascivious smirk.

"I thought you needed to think, or that you needed time or some shit," Faith reminded her.

"I think too much," Buffy countered. "And maybe it's because I'm all hopped up on slaying, or because you got all pissed, but you've never looked so stunning to me as you do right now."

Faith gave her a quizzical look; she seemed taken aback, and it took a few seconds for her to respond.

"Well I don't care what the reason is; I just want you so bad right now I could fucking explode."

With that she brought their lips together once more, and Buffy didn't even question whether or not she should be kissing Faith again. There was no stopping this, and as she felt her feet moving with Faith towards the nearby tree she realised all hope, or reasons to prevent the inevitable, were quickly becoming irrelevant.

Their lips moved hungrily against each other and Buffy whimpered unashamedly as she allowed herself to be pushed up against the large tree. The bark scratched at her clothes but she didn't care. All she cared about was feeling Faith's heat, and the delicious sensation of her firm body now rubbing up against her.

"Need to touch you," Buffy said across Faith's lips, surprising herself with the admission. "Now."

Without waiting for permission, Buffy let her hands run down Faith's arms, moving them to her waist and stomach. She smiled and felt her butterflies flapping into overdrive as Faith moaned lightly into her mouth, Buffy's fingertips pushing under tight material. Faith's skin was warm and soft, small muscles reacting as she pushed upwards under her top.

"You can touch me anytime you want," Faith said huskily, whispering kisses over Buffy's lips, down over her chin to her neck and back again. "All yours."

Buffy felt her insides melt and wondered if Faith knew she'd said something much more meaningful than just "I want you to fuck me". There was no way she was going to risk ruining the mood by bringing it up so she filed it away in her mind and captured Faith's mouth with her own forcibly, kissing Faith passionately in acceptance of the offer. Her hands continued on their journey up, skimming over silky skin before reaching the satin material of a restrictive bra.

Though she'd never done this before and had no idea what she was doing, Buffy was flying on instinct. She knew how she wanted to touch Faith and she knew there was no use attempting not to. The slayer in her wanted some gratification after slaying, and the Buffy in her just really needed to make Faith moan for her. Tripping her fingers up over the bra Faith had disappointingly chosen to wear that evening, Buffy felt her panties getting uncomfortably sticky. Hard nipples strained against her fingertips and she quivered at Faith's reaction; a shaky moan that had subtle traces of Buffy's secretly favourite "ungh" sound.

Buffy leaned back against the tree, just out of reach of Faith's lips for the moment as she slid her fingers over and around the delightfully erect nipples. She watched Faith's face as her eyes closed and mouth waited for Buffy to come back to it; heavy lips looking even more full and enticing than before.

Wondering if she'd ever truly realised just how beautiful Faith was, Buffy swiftly moved her hands under the only material separating her from what she most wanted right then. It was a tight squeeze but she managed to grab hold of Faith's fleshy breasts under her bra, filling her hands with them as Faith hummed in satisfaction.

"Fuck," Faith exclaimed, resting her forehead against Buffy's and beginning to subtly rock her hips forward, searching for more contact.

Though she couldn't quite believe they were doing this now, here, Buffy slipped her thigh between Faith's legs, giving her something to press against. It also meant Faith's thigh was between her own legs now, and that was nothing short of a wonderful consequence.

"Oh, Faith," Buffy practically whimpered when she felt a hand sliding up to cup her breast and toy with her nipple.

The juxtaposition of feeling Faith's breasts as Faith did the same back was exquisite. It felt sexy and naughty and all kinds of hot. There was something incredibly salacious about this, and it spurred Buffy on. She wanted Faith more than she'd known was possible. It was totally clear to her now; running from this had been stupid, and a really silly waste of time considering they could have been doing this from the start.

Faith kissed along Buffy's jaw, teeth nipping as she leaned down a little to get at her neck. Her mouth was hot and lips tantalising as they frayed Buffy's edges and unravelled her virtue.

"I wanna fuck you," Faith breathed against Buffy's skin, sending shudders through her. She flicked her tongue over Buffy's throat and pressed firmly against her between her legs. "Wanna fuck you so much."

The combination of Faith's sexy drawl and the pressure between her legs had Buffy on the brink of coming right then and there, but she certainly didn't want to embarrass herself. The only cure for that would be to allow things to develop in the way they both obviously wanted. The adrenaline soaked haze of slaying and the overwhelming desire she had for Faith was robbing her of any sense. There could be no control over this, no restraint or will to walk away.

Crashing her mouth back to Faith's, Buffy rubbed her thumbs over Faith's nipples, delighting in how it made Faith squirm against her. She sucked on the fleshy lower lip that had always fascinated her, and used her teeth to make Faith practically growl at her.

When she felt a hand sliding between them and heading towards the buttons on her jeans, Buffy had no hope of halting its journey. Heart pounding and body pulsing with need, Buffy allowed Faith to snap open a way into her pants, breathing hard into her mouth as fingertips slid downwards behind the material.

"Here?" Buffy asked with a tremble as Faith pushed inside her panties.

"Yeah."

"But. . ."

"There's nobody around but us," Faith said across her lips before kissing Buffy deeply.

Buffy held her breath as Faith's fingertips crept over her finely cropped hair and down towards her already soaked pussy. She wasn't sure how things had gone so fast so soon but she didn't have the capacity to care right now. As she let out a shuddering breath, Faith slipped her fingers over her between her folds, gathering the moisture there and spreading it easily around.

Unable to form words or even mumble coherently, Buffy moaned into Faith's mouth before pulling away so she could take a deeper breath. She gasped and tried to stop herself from shaking but Faith was now fingering her clit and making normal thoughts and actions impossible. Slipping over and around her, Faith left Buffy in no doubt that she knew exactly what she was doing.

Letting go of one of Faith's breasts, Buffy decided she wanted to do the same for Faith, regardless of the fact she really had no idea what to do. It couldn't be that hard, however; she was pretty good at doing this kind of thing to herself. In essence, it was the same, though obviously a hell of a lot more pleasurable. Whilst moving against Faith's hand in her panties, covering the fingers there in her desire, Buffy trailed her right hand down to Faith's pants, snagging on the waistband and finding her way towards the zip.

She felt excited and nervous, swept up and swimming in a desire she'd never experienced before. Unlike her first - slow and tender - time with Angel, this was all about sex and need; the desperate desire to feel something, to come, to open wide to each other and dive inside. Popping open Faith's button and pulling down the zip, Buffy fought to hold in a loud whimper as Faith's fingers sped over her swollen clit. Trying to concentrate on getting into Faith's pants was difficult when she was already on the verge of coming.

Moaning into Faith's neck, Buffy rolled her hips forward, quivering with need. Her fingers now disappearing into tight panties, she let out a wanton groan that surprised herself.

"Faith," Buffy sighed, just to say the name. Just to feel it whisper over her lips as her mouth worked over the sensitive skin of Faith's throat.

"Fuck, Buffy," Faith responded, mostly to the fingers now slipping in between her wet folds.

The warm, wet, sumptuous sensation of having her fingers gliding over Faith's sex exploded inside Buffy; fragments of herself torpedoing outwards, twisting and spiralling as she let go.

"Oh, God," Buffy gasped, body moving quicker in time with Faith's expert attention on her clit.

She was so close.

But a noise to her left caught Buffy's keen hearing, halting the tidal wave inside her.

"Wait," Buffy implored, ineffectively trying to back away from Faith's relentless fingers.

"No waiting," Faith insisted, pushing her fingers lower and making Buffy squirm between wanting more and wondering what the noise had been.

A cracking branch decided for her and she pulled her hand out of Faith's pants, instantly missing the silky feel of her against her fingertips.

"Seriously, Faith. Wait," she repeated.

"Come on, B," Faith whined, holding her fingers still and looking urgently into Buffy's eyes. "It's probably just a cat or something."

"Yeah well, it's the or something I'm worried about."

It wasn't as if she wanted to stop; Buffy had been quite happy to tumble off the edge for Faith. Her body was buzzing and clit throbbing for closure, but she couldn't turn off her slayer instincts.

"We should check it out quickly," Buffy insisted. Faith pouted in a way Buffy had never seen before and it made her smile and lean in to kiss her. "Then maybe we can go back to your place," she added, pulling back and sighing happily at the now familiar taste of chocolate lip-gloss.

"When you say go back to my place. . .you don't really mean go home – on your own – and forget about this do you?" Faith asked, sounding sceptical.

"I promise, we'll go back to yours," Buffy assured, gasping slightly as Faith moved her fingers briefly against her as she slowly, very slowly, pulled her hand out of Buffy's panties.

She gave Buffy a disgruntled look but stepped away anyway, letting Buffy remove her hands from her and button herself up. Groaning as she watched Faith lift her now sticky fingers to her mouth, Buffy almost changed her mind and jumped Faith again.

"Damn, you taste good," Faith purred, the deep rumble to her voice only making it harder to postpone what they both wanted.

Clit twitching as she watched Faith lick her juices from her fingers, Buffy stepped close to her again, capturing Faith's mouth with her own for one last kiss before they had to make a move. She could taste herself faintly on her lips and it made her think of all the things they could do together. . .once they got the hell out of there and to Faith's motel room.

"Ok, let's do a quick sweep and then get the hell out of here," Buffy instructed, tugging on Faith to follow her.

"Yo, Buff," Faith exclaimed, pulling her arm free so she could do her pants back up, "catchin' a breeze here."

"Sorry."

"Got me so damn wet," Faith continued, muttering as Buffy gazed into the bushes ahead.

Buffy moaned and felt her stomach twist in desire at the words, heart fluttering in her chest in a way that was both terrifying and wonderful. Turning quickly from the bushes back to Faith, Buffy grabbed hold of the other girl's shoulders to ensure she had her full attention.

"Let's go," she said breathlessly, needing to have Faith, and have her completely.

"But what about the. . ."

"There's nothing there," Buffy replied. "No cat, no demons, nothing, so let's get going so I can. . ." She looked Faith over, not knowing quite what she wanted to do but knowing she was going to have the best time finding out. "So I can fuck you in every way you're going to show me how."

Faith's mouth dropped open a little way and her pupils dilated, sucking in the light around them and making Buffy practically want to run towards the motel.

"Fuck," Faith said with a feral grin, "you better believe it, Twinkie. Let's get the fuck outta here."

_**The present, back in the library. . .**_

Buffy glanced from her friends back to Faith, wishing she could turn invisible and make a hasty exit. But she'd only ever known one 'invisible' person and no amount of holding her breath and hoping was going to make Buffy similarly transparent. She had to tell Faith that her friends knew about what had happened, or lie and dig herself into a bigger hole.

"Yeah, they kinda know," Buffy acknowledged.

"So, you're telling people that we fucked, and about how you ran off back to Angel?" Faith questioned bitterly, barely keeping her voice low enough for Giles not to hear.

"Faith, I didn't. . ." Buffy sighed and ushered Faith a little further away from Giles' office. "I didn't exactly say it that way, and I didn't run back to Angel. I was just confused."

"You didn't seem all that confused when we were doing it, B."

The hurt and anger in Faith's voice was unmistakable and Buffy wasn't keen on everybody hearing it, especially not her watcher.

"Let's talk up there," Buffy suggested, nodding towards the book laden shelves at the back of the library.

"What makes you think I wanna talk with you, Twinkie?" Faith asked, her defensive attitude clearly on show in her gestures and on her face.

Buffy almost felt like giving up and leaving things as they were; it would certainly make life easier. They could forget about what had happened and Buffy wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions, like explaining any possible relationship with Faith to Giles, or her mom. She wouldn't have to go through the judgments of not only family, but friends and peers. It really would be better just to put it behind them.

But Buffy couldn't do that; not after the night they'd shared. Not when she wanted that night again and again, and more besides.

She looked seriously at Faith, swallowing her pride and hoping Faith could do the same. "Don't pretend that you don't wanna hear me apologise," Buffy told her.

Faith narrowed her eyes and tried to keep all her barriers in place, but Buffy was beginning to see through them. She could see that Faith didn't want to leave things in a bad place. Though she wasn't sure if Faith was interested in any kind of relationship, there was no doubting that Buffy just leaving had hurt her.

"Yeah, whatever," Faith finally responded, making her way towards the steps that lead up into the shelves.

Buffy followed, catching her friends' eyes as she went. They looked worried, but hopeful. It made Buffy give them a small smile as she felt exactly the same. At least now she knew what she wanted, for the most part. It might not have been obvious right away to her, but after some thought, and after gauging the reaction of her friends, Buffy had something to aim for.

"Are we gonna do this quick? I got somewhere to be," Faith said abruptly as she stopped behind one of the bigger shelves, hidden out of view of the other occupants of the room.

"Look, I know it was a shitty thing for me to do," Buffy began, stepping close to Faith and feeling grateful that Faith didn't instantly back away. "When I woke up I. . .I just panicked."

"Yeah, I get it," Faith said dismissively. "You woke up, regretted what we'd done, and got the hell out. I've done the same thing myself; you wake up with an uglier guy than the one you went home with and need to get the hell outta there before. . ."

"That's not the same," Buffy interrupted, choosing to be honest with Faith even if Faith didn't want the same as her. "And I didn't regret it; it was just a lot to deal with all at once."

Faith looked away, disbelief etched into her features. She started fiddling with a book on the shelf beside them, tugging at the loose covering as it flapped away from the spine a little way. It didn't seem like she was interested in continuing the conversation, but Buffy couldn't just walk away. She'd have to persist through Faith's stubbornness.

"Faith, I'm sorry I freaked out," she said softly, stepping even closer, only just resisting the urge to reach out and touch Faith. Taking a deep breath, she surged ahead, being braver than she thought she would be. "I really liked being with you, and if you can ignore the fact I was an idiot. . .maybe we could. . .I dunno, maybe we could be. . ."

Her voice quietened and trailed off as she lost her way, not knowing quite how far to push with Faith. It was no big secret that Faith wasn't the kind of girl who looked for relationships with the people she slept with, but Buffy hoped maybe they could try it; she just didn't know how to ask.

"Maybe we could be what, B?" Faith asked, giving Buffy her full attention again, though her tone was still harsh and heated and her body language almost threatening.

There really wasn't a safe answer she could give. Asking if they could enter into a relationship together, or date, or be more than just friends seemed like hurtling headlong into a minefield wearing big, giant clown-shoes. But not saying anything would mean no going back. If Buffy didn't take a chance then there would probably never be another one.

"I know you're not exactly looking for a relationship, and I know this would be kinda weird. . .at least for me but. . ."

"Whoa! Back up there, blondie," Faith interrupted. "Are you forgetting you've got a boyfriend?"

She sounded bitter about that and Buffy couldn't blame her.

"I don't, exactly," Buffy pointed out. "We argued last night and it's pretty much over."

"It's 'pretty much over'?" Faith questioned. "What's that supposed to mean, I'm your backup plan or something in case it's over for sure?"

"No!" Buffy quickly replied, wishing this kind of thing – conversation – was easier between them. "That's not it. I just mean I haven't officially told him. But it is over."

"Why?" Faith asked sceptically, taking Buffy by surprise a little.

That wasn't the question, or reaction she'd been expecting. Faith didn't exactly like Angel, and most definitely didn't like Angel with Buffy, so she'd been hoping for a little more happiness and excitement.

"A lot of reasons," Buffy admitted, feeling a little sad now that she really thought about it. "It was probably doomed from the start. And yunno, the whole lack of sex thing."

"That didn't bother you about him before."

"Well it does now," Buffy declared. "You showed me how. . ." She swallowed hard and tried not to get swept away on the sudden butterflies in her belly at just the memory of their encounter. "You showed me how good it could be."

Her stomach was twisting and turning and she just knew she was blushing.

"Yeah?" Faith asked, very subtly moving closer to Buffy.

"Oh yeah," Buffy replied, allowing a sly smile to creep over her lips. "It was amazing. You were amazing."

For a split second it almost looked as if Faith was also blushing, but she covered it quickly.

"It _was_ pretty fucking good," Faith agreed, a small smirk of her own easing some of the tension between them. But then the smile fell and she stopped all movement towards Buffy. "I'm still not exactly sure what's goin' on though, B. We fuck, you freak out, you don't talk to me for days and then you dump your boyfriend? I'm kinda confused."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said again. "I just needed a little time, and then when I found out Angel had seen us. . .well, we fought and. . ."

"Wait! He saw us? When?"

"When we were in the cemetery," Buffy told her, not keen on the way Faith's jaw clenched again as she practically glared at her.

"Be specific, Buffy."

"I think he saw the whole thing," Buffy admitted, hating that he had, not only because of the way it would have hurt him, but also because it felt like her memory of those first kisses and the first touches would always be sullied by Angel's presence. "The kissing, touching. . ."

"You mean he watched you groping me, and me stick my hand in your pants. . .and didn't fucking say anything? He just stood there being some kinda pervert?"

Buffy looked down at her hands and wished she could defend him, but she didn't exactly want to. She didn't exactly have the right. Buffy knew she couldn't very well be mad at him for watching when she'd been busy cheating on him. There was no moral high ground to take.

"And I guess that means you didn't dump him, he dumped you for screwing around on him," Faith accused. "So I am a backup."

Not only did Faith look pissed off, she also looked upset. Buffy could see now that Faith – maybe deep down – wanted something more between them. More than just sex.

"You're not a backup, Faith," Buffy assured, hoping she could make Faith see the truth. "I might not have realised it right away, and it took me a while to work it out but I know now. . .I want this."

She took Faith's hand in her own, bracing herself for rejection but feeling her heart flutter when Faith didn't pull away or avoid the contact. They both looked down at how their fingers slipped together and Buffy hoped Faith wouldn't disappoint her with phrases like "get some, get gone" to explain them away.

"You want what exactly?" Faith asked tentatively, her voice taking on a soft and husky tone that made the hairs on the back of Buffy's neck stand on end.

Though she'd only just decided on it, and though it was harder to say the words than to think them, Buffy had to get them out. She had to take the risk of rejection.

"I was wondering if you'd. . ." Buffy almost giggled with nerves but forced herself to continue, "be my girlfriend."

The blush that burst over Buffy's cheeks was ferociously hot and she had the overwhelming urge to run from the library in embarrassment at having asked. It had sounded completely weird, and silly, but it's what she wanted. She knew that now for sure. The consequences of such a relationship would be something she'd think about later - much later – hopefully way after Faith said yes.

"You want me to be your girlfriend?" Faith asked slowly, her eyebrows disappearing into her hairline. "I. . .you're joking right?"

Faith was unusually flustered, stammering her words and shaking her head in disbelief.

"I'm not joking," Buffy reassured, lowering her voice a little when she heard shuffling not so far away. "We shared something more than just sex the other night, Faith. I think that's why it scared me so much."

At first Faith looked like she didn't agree, but her eyes were giving her away. Buffy could see that Faith felt the same. It hadn't just been about getting each other off or trying something new. It had been intense, completely breathtaking, and by the end of the night it was more than just the merging of bodies.

TBC…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

_**Three nights ago, at Faith's motel. . .**_

Taking no more time to think or panic into backtrack mode, they rushed from the cemetery, heading directly to Faith's motel rather than finding another tree to fumble up against. They kept conversation to a minimum and their hands to themselves, not wanting to be enticed into an alley or dark corner to vent their frustrations on one another on the way. Buffy wanted Faith in bed, and naked. With the speed they were going it didn't take them long to arrive and Faith fumbled with the key, getting the motel door open with some difficulty as Buffy pressed up against her from behind.

"Never felt this turned on before," Buffy admitted, staying close to Faith as they entered.

"Yeah? Not even with Angel?" Faith asked, turning around to face Buffy as the door clicked closed.

Buffy shook her head no, stepping into Faith's personal space and sliding her hands up the front of her jacket. She took the lapels in her hands and tugged it down Faith's arms, encouraging Faith to let the jacket drop to the floor.

"You make me. . .you make me feel alive," Buffy confessed softly, pressing close to Faith and bringing their lips together as she shrugged off her own jacket.

The kiss was more tender than previous kisses; lips barely touching as they enjoyed each sensitive caress. But Buffy wasn't in the mood for gentle for too long. She needed more.

"Now get on the bed and show me how to fuck you," Buffy ordered, smiling smugly at Faith's surprised raised eyebrow.

She really did feel alive; humming with excitement and eagerness. It almost felt like something else was in possession of her, and that wasn't far from accurate. She was possessed by a passionate need to take what she'd wanted for months. To finally give in to its pull.

"Oh I'll show you alright," Faith assured, letting Buffy walk her backwards towards the unmade bed. "And I'm gonna do it right back. Been wantin' your hot little body since I first saw ya."

Buffy smiled at that, feeling the warmth in Faith's eyes wrap around her and put her at ease. Though she knew she should be scared she didn't allow it to take control. The power of her need and the way Faith was turning to putty in her hands made Buffy feel completely comfortable with the situation. As long as she didn't think of Angel, or what the hell came next. . .it was all kinds of good.

Without further interruption, Buffy pushed at Faith's shoulders, sending her reeling backwards onto the bed. A small, embarrassed yelp came from Faith and Buffy couldn't help but grin and wiggle her eyebrows. She watched as Faith propped herself up on her elbows, sprawled out on the large mattress, ready for Buffy to have her way.

"I kinda like this aggressive thing ya got goin' on, B," Faith said as Buffy tugged at the other girl's heavy boots.

The boots slid off easily, dropping to the floor with a thud.

"Well I kinda like the passive thing _you've_ got going on," Buffy countered.

She kicked her own boots off, butterflies beginning to jitter around in her stomach.

"Don't get too used to it," Faith warned.

Licking her lips she waited for Buffy's next move, giving Buffy plenty of time just to stare at her. She couldn't help but stare; not now she'd been given the opportunity to do it. Too scared of being caught in the act before, Buffy had always done her best not to look too long at Faith.

She smirked at Faith as joining her on the bed became too enticing to ignore. Climbing onto the mattress, Buffy kept her eyes locked on Faith's, enjoying the desire she saw in them and relishing the opportunity to make them flutter closed in ecstasy. Running her hands up Faith's legs, feeling the muscles twitch in her thighs as she went, Buffy had one goal in mind: to get Faith naked as quickly as possible.

Reaching the top of Faith's pants, she let her fingers glide over her stomach until she was pulling open a button and yanking down a zip. Faith's breathing quickened; evidence of how Buffy was subtly affecting her. Wasting no more time, Buffy started tugging on Faith's pants, grateful when Faith lifted her butt in assistance. She left the small, black panties on but promised herself to come back to them soon. With a kick Faith helped Buffy untangle her feet from her pants, still just lying back on her elbows as Buffy lead the way.

Her gaze swept over Buffy and she looked on the verge of turning the tables, but Buffy didn't want that just yet. She was enjoying this limited control over Faith. Realising that it was probably only fair if they lost their clothes together, Buffy slipped back off the bed, undoing and pushing down her own pants with little fuss.

She almost stumbled over them as she pulled her feet out, too busy looking at Faith's legs and how she was situated – her knees bent a little way and legs open just enough to make Buffy's clit throb from the sight. She stood for a few seconds just imagining what this was going to feel like and what they were going to do.

"Don't stop there, B," Faith prompted, raising an eyebrow and glancing down to Buffy's panties.

Buffy might have slipped into embarrassed territory if it wasn't for the fact Faith was now pushing her own panties off her hips. Slowly, Faith raised herself just enough to allow the thin cotton of her underwear to slip out from under her. Feeling unable to swallow or look away, Buffy watched the small slither of black material slide down Faith's legs until it was thrown to the edge of the bed. Her gaze travelled up the muscled legs the panties had just descended, mouth almost watering as she took in the sight of short, dark hair between Faith's thighs. She obviously waxed or shaved, or did something to make it a neat little strip that had Buffy worrying if she was equally as neat and sexy in that area.

They were both about to find out as Buffy dipped her thumbs under the waistband of her underwear and nervously pushed down. She almost lost her footing again as Faith spread her legs more in order to watch Buffy more closely, but she just about kept her balance, though her mind was stumbling around with lascivious thoughts. They were thoughts she'd have been shocked to have before, but the sight of Faith yanking off her top and flinging it free as she laid waiting for Buffy to crawl between her legs was an impossible thing to ignore.

As Faith's bra slipped away and Buffy's panties hit the floor the room grew ominously quiet; all that could be heard was the quick breaths of both girls and the faint rustle of material as Buffy lost the rest of her clothes with each move forwards back to the mattress. Buffy tried not to feel the slight breeze that blew across her exposed skin as she crawled back onto the bed, choosing instead to let Faith's eyes warm her as they journeyed over every inch of her.

"You're so hot," Faith mumbled through a moan as Buffy's skin faintly – barely touching at all - slid across hers.

"The words pot and teacup come to mind," Buffy responded, holding herself over Faith between her legs.

"You mean kettle."

"Whatever. Same ball park," Buffy dismissed. "Point is. . .you're the one that's fucking hot, and sexy, and just. . ." She looked into Faith's eyes, the dark, chocolate brown tugging at her in a way that made her chest tighten more every time, "beautiful."

Faith appeared uncomfortable for a split second at the compliment, but there was no time to wonder about it as Faith suddenly wrapped herself around Buffy, pulling her down on top of her. Their teeth clashed together a little as they kissed with no reservations, skin hot against skin, naked bliss making them press hard into each other in desperate need.

Feeling herself tingling everywhere she was touching Faith with her own body, Buffy trailed a hand down to Faith's thigh, grabbing hold as she rolled her hips into Faith on instinct. It felt incredible; being so close, feeling Faith's heat, her arousal, her desire. She knew she was dripping for Faith already, spilling over her as they allowed their bodies to melt into one another; their breasts touching, stomachs moving in rhythm with each heady breath, and obvious arousal making its presence well and truly felt. It didn't make her feel embarrassed like she thought she would be, it only served to heighten her arousal as she slid against the wealth of slick fluid they were both producing.

"Fuck, that feels good," Faith drawled huskily, pushing her hands into Buffy's hair at her temples and kissing over her lips, sucking and nibbling away any doubts in Buffy's mind.

"It really does," Buffy agreed, keeping herself hanging over Faith just a little with one arm.

As they both took a few moments just to enjoy the intimate contact, they kissed a little slower, softer and deep. Their tongues twirled around each other; heavy breaths heating up their faces as lips moved languorously, unhurriedly tasting and learning. With each movement of their mouths against one another they kissed more fully. With each flick of tongue and soft groan they stripped away any fear of the unknown. It wasn't long before Faith was pushing upwards and Buffy was pushing downwards, bodies pressed tight and eagerness making them grind against each other. Faith's hands swept down over Buffy's back, causing Buffy to shudder and arch in pleasure. She'd never felt anything so good, so completely sensual and sexy.

Pulling her lips away and gazing down at Faith, Buffy couldn't help but smile. She felt giddy, happy; there was a feeling deep inside her that she didn't think she'd ever truly felt before. It was scary, but it was undeniably captivating - as was Faith herself. Still unable to stop smiling, Buffy licked her lips and basked in the beautiful smile Faith was also wearing. She couldn't quite believe they were here, doing this, naked. Sexy, slick and naked Faithness all over her, and most noticeably in the already hot and sticky mess they were creating as their damp pussies pressed eagerly for more contact.

She definitely couldn't quite believe it, but it was real, and damn was it good.

"You're such a good kisser," Buffy said breathily, letting her gaze devour Faith's beguiling brown eyes.

Faith's smile turned into something of a smirk and she licked her full lips slowly, enticing Buffy as her short fingernails made patterns over her lower back.

"You're not bad yourself," Faith responded.

The deep burr to her voice sent a trickle of desire through Buffy, pooling between her legs. If she got any wetter she'd be sliding right off Faith and onto the floor. It was time they put it to good use.

Finding courage from somewhere inside herself that she hadn't been sure existed, Buffy leaned down for another kiss, taking possession of Faith's lips with her own and giving everything she had to the moment. Faith's body reacted instantly, legs gliding up until she was holding Buffy harder against her with them, trapping them together. Her hands were roaming all over Buffy's back and sides, reaching down to the curve of her ass and trailing up her spine. Buffy wanted those hands all over her. She wanted Faith all over her.

Needing to be touched more fully, Buffy eased one of Faith's thighs down from her, pushing at her leg until Faith got the idea and released her grip. Though Buffy was reluctant to move from the sublime spot she'd found between Faith's legs, she didn't want things to end too quickly. Anymore grinding against Faith was sure to facilitate just that possibility; her clit was extremely sensitive and quite happy to continue the subtle slipping and sliding until she came over Faith.

For a brief moment Buffy wondered if maybe she should stay put right where she was, as the idea of coming over Faith's pussy as Faith hopefully did the same was incredibly. . .well, suffice it to say, Buffy's mind was on meltdown.

"You ok?" Faith asked, looking up at Buffy as Buffy spazzed out for a second; busy indulging in her thoughts and the oh so good sensation of Faith's breasts and hot, wet sex right against her own.

Blinking her way back to Faith, Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I'm way beyond ok," she replied. "This really is just. . .it feels. . ."

"Let me help ya out," Faith offered, her hands still drifting over the dip in Buffy's lower back in a distracting way. "It feels. . .so. Fucking. Hot."

Faith's voice sounded almost as good as her body felt and Buffy had to suppress a moan as she let the words wash over her.

"You've never been more right," Buffy agreed, moving against Faith as they both revelled in heated skin and feminine dips and curves.

"Yunno, I didn't think you'd actually go through with this," Faith admitted.

Buffy took a deep breath, trying to still her ardour for the moment so she could speak honestly.

"I couldn't keep running from the obvious," she explained. "I've been thinking about this for. . .well, for longer than I probably want to admit."

Faith chuckled and Buffy enjoyed the way it felt against her.

She knew she could have continued; explained more, or told Faith of all the ways she made her want her, but this wasn't the time for talking.

Doing nothing much more than just smile at each other again, Faith trailed the fingertips of her left hand up Buffy's side. As her nails scraped the edge of Buffy's breast she stopped, on the verge of tickling her with the light touch.

"Now let's stop talking," Buffy said, lowering her lips back to Faith's and placing soft kisses over them, "and let's start. . ."

"Fucking?" Faith asked with a grin when Buffy paused.

"You read my mind."

Buffy grinned right back and then kissed Faith hard, pouring herself into every move of her lips over Faith's. A rumbling moan from Faith spurred her on and she lifted herself up just enough to slide her legs over powerful thighs, straddling Faith as she sought out supple flesh with her hand.

Though she instantly missed being between Faith's legs, Buffy had a plan. The plan was not to come too soon, not to reach a high too quickly and all too briefly, before they'd had time to explore and enjoy. She didn't want this to be over too soon as she was well aware of Faith's habit of getting what she wanted and then getting the hell out. Even though they were in her motel room, Buffy didn't want to take that chance. Being asked to leave after a quick fuck was not high on her list of things to do. She wanted this to last as long as she could make it.

Pushing aside her nerves and the knowledge that she had absolutely no experience with this, Buffy let her hands wander over Faith. Her palms felt muscles twitching as she enjoyed the silky skin on offer. Faith was undeniably gorgeous, and she had the kind of body that Buffy had always envied. But far from envying it right now she was too busy taking pleasure from it, and giving pleasure back. She wanted to know every part of Faith.

She'd never wanted in this way before. Sure, Angel had been good, and it had been wonderful in its own special way, but this. . .this was beyond words. Faith was beyond being described. The words beautiful, sexy, hot? They didn't convey exactly what Buffy thought of Faith right now. She just didn't have a big enough vocabulary for this - for how it was all making her feel.

Exploring and discovering, Buffy started kissing her way down towards Faith's chest, eager to please, and eager to taste. Her hand found an ample breast, exploring and playing as Faith gave appreciative sighs. Her lips blazed a trail; placing open mouthed, lingering kisses over heated skin until she reached her goal.

Pretending not to be nervous, Buffy enjoyed the soft flesh of Faith's breasts – taking her time to kiss over them until Faith was pushing up trying to find more of her mouth. With slow movements, Buffy eventually sought out a dusky nipple that looked more than eager for attention. She let her gaze drift over it, over Faith, inspecting every inch she could see; pert nipples enticing her, and then lower. . .the damp curls – short and neat – that made Buffy's stomach twist in delight. Pulling her gaze back up, she lowered her mouth to the little bud just begging for her time.

A sharp gasp broke from Faith as Buffy pulled the nipple fully into her mouth, sucking it in and the skin around, letting go with a plop. She licked her lips, getting acquainted with Faith's flavour before going in for more. She liked it. She liked how it felt and she liked the way Faith's skin intrigued her taste buds.

It wasn't long until she discovered just what caused Faith to moan in a sexy timbre that made Buffy's skin prickle. Her tongue flicked and lips snagged at Faith's nipples until they were both on the verge of insanity with need.

"Fuck," Faith hissed as Buffy's teeth scraped over sensitive flesh. "Need to. . ."

The rest of what she said got muffled as she lifted Buffy up slightly and slipped a little further under her, too quickly to stop. Her mouth was covering Buffy's breasts before Buffy had time to react. She was just about able to hold herself up over Faith as her aching nipples were assaulted by feverish kisses and licks. The sensation of having teeth scraping and a tongue flicking as Faith's hot breath blew over her made Buffy tremble and groan. She had to have more.

"Touch me, Faith," Buffy just about managed to mumble breathlessly. She wasn't averse to begging at this point, her need for Faith far outweighing any residual nervousness about the situation. "Touch me," she said again, more firmly.

Finding one of Faith's hands with her own, Buffy guided it between them, lifting up enough so Faith could have full access to her. She looked down into Faith's eyes as she moved back to a position where they were face to face once again, every ounce of need and trace of lust in Faith's brown eyes making Buffy that little bit wetter, and that little bit more distant from anything Angel had ever been able to offer her.

"Tell me what you want, B," Faith asked, every word dripping in her own special brand of uninhibited sexuality. "Tell me what you want me to do to you."

Buffy let out a shaky breath, wondering if she really had it in her for this. There was no turning back now, however. There was no disappointing herself, or Faith. Maybe it was the post slayage hornies, or just the fact she desperately wanted to experience sex that was good and not tied up in too much emotion or fear. Whatever the reason, Buffy felt a sense of boldness. A sense of need that pushed her towards what she'd obviously wanted from Faith from the start.

"I want you to. . ." she stalled, only momentarily feeling far too inexperienced and shy to continue, but Faith kept looking at her with those captivating eyes, her hand creeping lower between them until Buffy felt fingertips tickling over the very top of her pussy. "I want you to fuck me, Faith. I want you to make me come. I want you inside me."

She watched as Faith's jaw clenched and pupils grew impossibly large, her own heartbeat threatening to deafen them both. It felt like several minutes ticked by until Faith was able to react, but Buffy knew it was really only a matter of seconds.

"I'll do anything you want me to do to you, Buffy," Faith responded, a quake to her voice that hadn't been there before.

"Just. . .make me yours for the night," Buffy said in a moment of complete honesty that made them both hesitate for a heartbeat.

Luckily Faith didn't question her, and Buffy was happy to ignore the fact she'd just said what she hadn't even known she was thinking. Whatever it meant, it became forgotten as fingers slid between Buffy's folds, finding her heat and her arousal as she gasped at the touch. With her other hand, Faith pulled Buffy down to her lips, kissing Buffy hard as her fingers explored between her legs. Each time she brushed over Buffy's clit Buffy gasped or moaned, sometimes both at once. She knew she wouldn't last long under Faith's apparently expert fingers.

Not wishing to leave Faith out of the party, Buffy slipped her own hand between them as she continued to straddle Faith. Her hand knew its destination and her fingers were dipping into liquid desire without further pause for thought. Faith bucked up into the contact, her body obviously pleading for some kind of relief after the build-up; not just that night's heady perambulation to this point, but the build-up that had been happening for months. The slow and steady unfolding that had wrapped them up and entwined them in an impenetrable truth.

Buffy melted as she felt just how wet Faith was, letting it coat her fingers as she slid around something that was so familiar yet completely alien. She tried to ignore the niggling worries and concentrated on Faith's reactions as she brushed over a hard little bump that was thankfully easy to find. Her fingers moved quicker, pressing down harder when Faith moaned out her name and spread her legs a little more in the confines of Buffy's knees as they rested either side of her.

"Is that good?" Buffy asked, nuzzling her nose into Faith's cheek and jaw as they both lost themselves to each other.

"Hell, yeah," Faith answered, all breath, lost to desire. "Is this good?" she asked as one of her fingers penetrated Buffy, sliding slowly into her pussy with ease.

Buffy moaned in approval and instinctively ground down into Faith's hand, feeling her walls clasp at the intrusion.

"Oh, yeah," Buffy practically whimpered.

She started moving with Faith as Faith slid in and out, another finger squeezing inside her tight pussy to join the other. With each movement Faith pushed in harder, deeper, making Buffy gasp out until she was riding Faith's fingers with each thrust, staying as close to Faith as she could, nipples gliding against each other as their skin grew slick with sweat. Her own hand continued in its mission to give Faith pleasure, the now slightly more awkward angle making it impossible to go fully inside Faith. She dipped and plunged the small distance she could but decided that concentrating on Faith's clit was probably the better option, for now.

She definitely wanted to explore more later; for now she was too busy being filled by Faith's fingers to be able to take advantage of the situation to do the same back. It didn't seem to matter, as Faith was already trembling as she got closer to climax.

Seeing and feeling Faith's reactions only served to push Buffy closer to the edge too; her body tightening and muscles gripping in anticipation of the fall. She opened her eyes long enough to look into Faith's, seeing a vulnerability and an openness there that surprised her. Buffy felt more than her body falling and quickly slammed her eyes shut, dropping her head to Faith's shoulder as their movements sped up.

The sound of Buffy's wet pussy filled the air as Faith's fingers drove up into it. Their grunts and moans joined the symphony and both girls let go completely. There was no trace of ever being afraid, or of ever doubting what they wanted.

"Oh God, Faith," Buffy called out as she felt Faith's other arm push between them, fingertips suddenly dancing over her swollen clit at a maddening pace.

This was a sensation, a feeling deep within her that she'd never truly felt before. They were completely connected, on every level. It felt perfect. Almost too perfect. Her heartbeat was racing, quick breaths mingling with Faith's, the unfamiliar but intoxicating scents helping to sweep Buffy up in a delicious embrace of intense satisfaction.

She opened her eyes and pushed herself up so she was sitting on Faith, fingers buried within her, a cool breeze from the window stroking over her back. Looking down as she moved in rhythm, watching as fingers fucked her pussy and flicked over her clit as she kept her own fingers moving over Faith, she couldn't believe just how hot it looked as well as felt.

Buffy murmured in approval as Faith circled her fingertips inside her. "So good," she groaned, rocking into Faith.

With a grin, Faith easily pushed herself up from the bed, lips finding Buffy's as their bodies melted into one another once again. Buffy wrapped fingers into Faith's long hair, deepening the kiss, pressing her advantage of being slightly above Faith. Her tongue dipped and flicked and her fingers slid over Faith's soaked pussy until they were both panting and ready to burst.

The beginnings of an orgasm began to hurry through Buffy as her hips moved in time to Faith's impressive skills, each push inside her making her tumble for Faith in ways she couldn't quite fully recognize just yet.

"Harder, Faith. I'm. . .I'm gonna come," Buffy moaned, pushing her nose into Faith's hair and drowning in her rousing scent.

Faith fell back, taking Buffy with her as they both put everything they had into giving each other pleasure.

Buffy concentrated on the feel of Faith's fingers rubbing up inside her as they pushed into her dripping hole deep and hard, and on the searing sting of sensation emanating from her clit as it exploded through her body. She'd never felt anything like this; not as good, not as utterly fulfilling.

"Fuck," she gasped into Faith's neck, doubling her efforts on Faith's drenched pussy as she felt her body shaking underneath her. "You're so good, Faith. Feel so good."

She slipped and slid over Faith's swollen clit, fingering it and flicking over it in a way that had Faith breathing out hard and fast. They were both about to come and Buffy found Faith's mouth with her own for one last kiss before they lost themselves fully to the coiling pleasure that twisted its way around their naked embrace.

"Jesus, Buffy," Faith cried out, "I can't hang on any longer. Gotta come."

Her body began releasing its pent up desire, strong muscles tensing as she shook.

"Fuck!" Faith all but yelped.

Buffy grinned at the sounds and felt a warm flood of arousal seep over her fingers as she pressed her hand hard over Faith, touching all of her, and marvelling a how good it felt to make Faith come. Every twitch and every sound made Buffy's body buzz and tingle, and her chest ache in a way that she didn't dare think about. Faith was unbelievably hot on a normal day, but Faith having an orgasm was a degree of hotness that Buffy couldn't quite quantify. Her mind and body exploded.

"Oh, yes!" Buffy groaned as she submerged herself in every sensation, letting her lungs push out her moans as she shook and tumbled and came for Faith, swallowing the fingers inside her and covering them with her gratitude. "Oh fuck, yes!"

Her body felt like it was vibrating, like a string being plucked. All she could feel was Faith and what she was doing to her. Every sensation heightened and intensified by Faith's sexy moans of approval.

She rode out her first real orgasm – not caused by her own hand - on Faith's fingers, grinding down into her as her body fought to stay afloat. She could no longer think coherently, or hold herself up. Once she'd plucked her hand from Faith's pussy, much to both their chagrin, she found herself falling onto Faith completely, unable to move bar the twitches and aftershocks running through her.

With a little effort, Faith also managed to pull her hands free, wrapping her arms around Buffy in a way that surprised her but made her smile into the soft tumble of Faith's hair. She could feel Faith's heart pounding against her own, in rhythm along with the breaths they were taking. Breaths that were gradually slowing down until they both relaxed.

Everywhere that Buffy was touching Faith felt amazing. She had a sensation of tangible yearning and satisfaction that pushed and pulled against one another in a mystifying yet delightful way. She felt spent, yet she was ready for more. Eager for more.

She doubted she'd ever be done wanting more of this with Faith.

TBC…


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

As they lay entwined on top of Faith's rumpled comforter - skin hot and sticky, hair mingling messily on the pillow - their bodies grew tense with an obvious need to continue, the atmosphere getting slightly awkward.

Neither of them had spoken in the several minutes they'd laid together – Buffy draped languidly over Faith as Faith's fingernails scratched faint patterns over her lower back. Buffy wondered why Faith wasn't pushing her off, or turning to her usual routine of gratuitous language and mocking catchphrases. She'd never known Faith to be so quiet. Buffy would have come to the conclusion that Faith had fallen asleep if it wasn't for the soft touches to her back where Faith's hands rested on her.

No, Faith wasn't asleep, and if one of them didn't speak soon then things could very easily take a turn for the worse. There was obviously something different about this for Faith. In all the stories she'd told of her conquests, Buffy couldn't ever recall Faith telling her about how she'd snuggle afterwards. This wasn't usual, and Buffy had to tread very carefully if she wanted to avoid an explosion of Faith-rage for having been caught enjoying something rather sweet.

"That was. . .so good," Buffy mumbled into Faith's neck, adjusting her weight slightly so she slipped to her side.

She kept her leg thrown over Faith, needing to keep as much contact as possible. Faith thankfully didn't let her go too far either, keeping her hands on Buffy as she took a calming breath.

"I mean, I've never. . .yunno, before," Buffy continued, not quite making much sense as her mind tried to unscramble along with her body. "But that was. . .wow."

Buffy nuzzled her nose into Faith's neck, smiling because of the way she smelled – which was a little strange but completely involuntary. Faith smelled of all those things that seemed exotic to Buffy. She didn't smell like cherries or vanilla, or cheap soap. She smelled like the wind, like heat, fresh sweat and some kind of aromatic oil that she probably got from the kind of shop that Buffy would never go in to. There was something raw and sensual about Faith's scent. Angel had never smelled of anything. He was like a hard slab of stone – lifeless, cold and scentless. Faith wasn't any of those things.

"God you smell good," Buffy blurted out after taking a deep breath.

She felt instantly embarrassed when Faith chuckled, but Faith obviously had something else on her mind that impeded her normal desire to mock.

"You do too," Faith said softly, turning her face towards Buffy and nudging her nose against her forehead. "But you can't go breezin' past that little piece of info you just dropped."

Buffy scrunched her brow and lifted her head to look into Faith's eyes.

"Huh?"

"I thought you an' Angel had bumped uglies before," Faith continued.

Her brown eyes completely captivated Buffy in their sex-haze sultriness, temporarily dazing her and leaving her wondering what the hell Faith was getting at. Then she realized.

"Oh," Buffy mumbled, feeling rather pointlessly red faced. "Yeah, we did, but I never. . ." She didn't continue.

"He didn't make you come?" Faith asked, sounding trapped between wanting to gloat and feeling sorry for Buffy.

"Yeah, it's. . .unimportant," Buffy said, not wanting to think or talk about Angel, especially when she was still very much naked with Faith. "What is important is that you totally did make me come."

Faith grinned at that, looking smug and adorable all at once. "And it was totally hot, B," she said encouragingly. "Kinda wanna do it all again."

Buffy smiled at that, happy to note that she agreed; there was no way she could just go pick up her clothes and leave now.

Hoping the night had only just begun, Buffy trailed her fingers over Faith's stomach and side, letting her gaze travel across exposed breasts and downwards to where her leg obstructed further viewing as it rested on Faith. She made a mental note of every mole and beauty mark, every small scar – and there were definitely a few of those – and every place she'd like to get to know more intimately.

A little breathlessly as she let her imagination wander, Buffy spoke freely, without worrying - for once – about how she would be perceived, or how Faith might react. They both wanted this so there was no need to continue being coy about it.

"Is it normal to want to just do this all night?" Buffy asked, licking her lips and letting her fingertips circle around one of Faith's taut nipples.

"Fuck you mean?" Faith questioned, her brown eyes almost too intense.

"Yeah."

"Honestly? No," Faith answered candidly. "If you were anybody else you'd be pickin' your shoes off the stairs outside right about now, after I threw you out after them."

There was a hint of a smirk on Faith's lips but Buffy didn't doubt that many of Faith's lovers had experienced just that event.

"You're not gonna throw me out," Buffy said confidently, pushing herself up and over Faith so that her leg slipped between Faith's thighs.

She held herself still, their bodies fitting like they were meant to fit, eyes trying to delve deep into each other as if they could find treasures inside that would fulfil their every dream. It almost felt possible.

"No, I'm not gonna throw you out," Faith conceded. "But I am done being the bottom."

Before Buffy knew what was happening she found herself rolling onto her back, with Faith sliding between her legs. She let out an overly girly squeak and narrowed her eyes at Faith's mocking grin. With Faith now holding her arms above her head and pressing down into her, Buffy was completely at her mercy. Not that she couldn't have struggled easily out of Faith's grip if she'd wanted to try.

She didn't want to try.

"So what're you gonna do with me?" Buffy asked, surprised at how sexy her own voice sounded.

Faith's grin only got bigger as she tripped a hand down Buffy's side, causing her to squirm a little where it tickled.

"Gonna do all the things I've thought about," she answered, placing kisses down Buffy's throat towards her chest.

A hand slipped between them, gliding over Buffy's stomach and down towards her already dripping pussy.

"Tell me," Buffy pressed, closing her eyes as Faith's fingers once again slid between her folds.

Between each kiss placed over Buffy's breasts Faith answered, "First off, I gotta taste ya."

Buffy shivered in anticipation, her legs opening involuntarily as she felt Faith's lips pulling at her taut nipple.

"That. . .sounds perfect," Buffy mumbled, feeling Faith's smile before she continued downwards.

It was the first time Buffy had experienced oral sex, but it wasn't the last that night. She gave and took and came more times than she'd thought possible, and by the end of the night they were both covered in each other's heat and arousal, and grinning like lovesick crazy people.

It had been perfect. It had been intense, and satisfying and. . .all the things that had Buffy in a panic the next morning.

Looking over at Faith as she lay sleeping, the sheet coiled around them both so that it left Faith's breasts bare, Buffy tried to ignore the conflict emanating from the pit of her stomach. A quick glance towards the clock told Buffy how early it still was. They'd only just finished having sex a few short hours before, and though Buffy still felt the soft hum of pleasure buzzing through her, she could also feel fear. And guilt.

Faith was dead to the world, a soft snore coming from the back of her throat as Buffy watched her. She looked peaceful and young. She looked happy.

Buffy wanted to lean over and place a soft kiss on Faith's lips, just because. For no reason other than she knew it would give her a tingle in her stomach and a warmth in her chest that she'd been feeling all night.

But Buffy didn't lean; she didn't dare indulge, or do anything to wake Faith up. That feeling of panic was rising. Everything they'd shared seemed on the knife edge of something deeper and Buffy wasn't ready to know what it was. She wasn't ready to feel it. She was confused and worried about what Faith felt, or didn't feel to be more exact.

"Shit," Buffy mumbled under her breath, sliding her leg out from under Faith's. "What have I done?"

Faith stirred, muttering in her sleep, silky skin looking far to tempting as Buffy watched her shift closer. Everything about Faith made Buffy want to pull her into her arms and never let go. She wanted to shower her with kisses and pour herself into her, but she knew that Faith probably wouldn't want that. Wouldn't want more than what they'd had. Faith was a lover of sex, not a girl who would pander to Buffy's need for attention or desire to be coddled now and then. This had been fun for Faith, but Buffy knew it wouldn't go further if she believed everything Faith had ever said. Hell, Buffy wasn't even sure if she wanted more. Everything was in a bit of a mess.

She wasn't single. She wasn't gay – or at least she didn't feel any different than she had done. She wasn't ready for things to change or to challenge her.

"Oh, this was a big mistake," Buffy said to herself, a little louder than she'd meant as she pushed a hand into her hair and took a deep breath.

"Mistake?" Faith mumbled beside her, her eyes slowly fighting their way open.

Buffy held her breath and snapped her eyes to Faith, wishing she'd slipped out before Faith had woken up. Though that sounded incredibly cold in her mind and she doubted she could have managed it anyway.

"I. . .I didn't. . ."

"Didn't mean it?" Faith interrupted, guessing Buffy's direction. "Sounded pretty sure to me."

Buffy looked into Faith's now open eyes, seeing something there that she didn't think she'd seen before. Faith seemed hurt, or maybe it was just the beginning of anger licking at the edges of her sleepy brain.

"No, I. . ." Buffy stuttered, unable to find any words she wanted to share with Faith at that moment.

Her mind was reeling; a commotion of conflicting thoughts and feelings pushing and pulling at her as she found herself edging away from Faith in the small bed.

"I have to go," Buffy finally said in a rush, pushing away the covers and frantically searching for her clothes as she tried her best to cover herself.

Faith sat up, eyes blinking as her messy hair tumbled over her face and shoulders. She looked amazing; a night of sex making her glow in a way that made Buffy want to run from the building as if it was on fire. No way could she keep looking at Faith, it was just throwing fuel onto her own fire.

"I just. . .I just have to go," Buffy mumbled, pulling on her clothes in a haze and stumbling towards the door.

She glanced back at Faith, clearly seeing the confusion and sadness in her brown eyes and feeling guiltier than ever. How could she have cheated on Angel? How could she feel what she was feeling about Faith? Her mind, her heart, couldn't cope with the sudden rush of questions she was asking herself.

In fear, she ran.

_**The present, back in the library. . .**_

"So you want us to. . .be. . ."

Faith was having a difficult time forming words and Buffy almost laughed right out loud about it, but she guessed that would be a little tactless. It certainly wouldn't have made Faith answer in the way she wanted her to.

"Together," Buffy clarified.

"In one of those relationship type things, after you kick Angel to the curb for real," Faith said, appearing like she was tasting the words as much as the idea.

"That's the idea."

"So we'd be like. . .exclusive?"

"Definitely," Buffy confirmed firmly, hoping Faith was capable of understanding such a concept.

Faith tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans, an air of uncomfortable silence drifting between them as they stood behind the shelves. For a moment Buffy thought Faith wasn't going to answer, but just as she went to press Faith, the other girl stepped towards her, hands quickly moving from pockets to Buffy's hips to pull her closer. She practically fell onto Faith's lips, happily accepting the kiss that followed. Buffy lifted her hands up to Faith's hair, letting the lush textures trickle over her fingers as she lost herself easily to mouth and tongue.

The eagerness between them quickly intensified until Buffy felt herself become light-headed through lack of oxygen. It was also becoming obvious that somebody was snooping nearby. Using her hands on Faith's chest to push lightly, Buffy moved them apart just enough to break their lips from one another.

"Your lips are far too distracting," Buffy said dreamily, looking up into Faith's eyes. "But I need to know. . ."

"Yeah," Faith interrupted quietly, looking almost shy.

"Yeah?" Buffy questioned, not sure what Faith meant exactly.

"Yes," Faith said again, nodding but looking away from Buffy's eyes.

The fact Faith was being all coy and shy only made Buffy want her more. She'd never really seen this side of the other girl at all.

"Yes as in you'll be. . ."

"Yeah, I'll be your girlfriend," Faith cut in, speaking quickly as if the words might burn on the way out.

Faith took a shaky breath and Buffy almost chuckled. Here she was thinking she was the inexperienced one, the one who should be feeling more nervous, yet it was Faith who was a bag of nerves about this. With a big smile Buffy felt everything slotting into place, where it should be. Faith smiled right along with her, a nervous chuckle escaping as Buffy grabbed her hands and gave them a squeeze.

"You're being so c. . ."

"Don't call me the C word, B," Faith warned.

Slyly nodding, but biting her lip, Buffy couldn't resist.

"You're being cute and I love it," Buffy informed her, bracing herself for a dose of Faith-rage.

She only just realised the L word had slipped out after Faith's eyes went a little wide. So it hadn't been said in the way it would if she meant it in the way she was possibly beginning to feel, but it certainly gave them both enough of a shock to pause for thought.

"I didn't. . .I mean, I wasn't," Buffy stammered. "Not that I don't think. . ."

"Hey, dork," Faith interrupted, "One step at a time, I'm already pretty freaked out here."

Buffy nodded and felt her heartbeat attempting to return to a normal pace after it had nearly leapt from her chest.

"Ok," she agreed, trusting in Faith's small smile.

She knew there was something between them that went deeper than the obvious, but now wasn't the time to go into it. Now wasn't the time for deep revelations when they'd only just arrived at the common ground they were finding their feet on.

Just as Buffy was about to lean in to kiss Faith and seal the deal, a call from beyond the shelves informed them that they were needed.

"Buffy?" Giles called. "Could I have a moment?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and moved to let go of Faith's hands, only to find Faith pulling her in for a quick kiss.

"Gotta get my kicks where I can before you run off. . .again," Faith pointed out when they broke apart.

"Hey, I thought you were going to forgive me for that."

"Who said anything about forgiving you?" Faith asked, an evil grin making her look every bit as wicked as she could be. "Just 'cause I'm your girlfriend now it doesn't mean I'm a pushover. You got some making up to do."

She gave Buffy a wink and a playful slap on the ass before making her way towards the steps and back to the centre of the room. Buffy worried what that might entail for exactly half a second before she let her mind wander and play with the fact that Faith – uber hot and oh so bad-ass Faith – was now her girlfriend.

Life felt pretty good. Of course, there would be further awkwardness, and she wasn't looking forward to telling people who would judge her about it or try to convince her it was a bad idea, but she was trying to keep positive. She liked Faith – really liked her – and no amount of fear was going to make her run this time. Life was too short.

"Ah, Buffy," Giles murmured as Buffy followed Faith back towards her friends. "I've found something rather interesting."

His nose was still buried in a book as he spoke, glasses almost slipping from the end.

"Interesting as in we get to slay a buncha demons later?" Faith asked excitedly as Buffy moved to stand beside her.

"Not quite," he said with a shake of his head. "It is about slaying, however. Or Slayers to be more exact."

Buffy and Faith both looked at each other and a small giggle to her left caught Buffy's attention. Willow quickly turned her head away as if to prove she wasn't just staring at them both, but she knew she had been as Xander was being far less subtle. No doubt one of them had caught some of the conversation the slayers had just had.

She narrowed her eyes at her friends, but she couldn't be mad. They had always been supportive of her and she knew she wouldn't keep them in the dark for long anyway. Pretty soon they'd know that Faith was now with her as more than just a slaying partner or friend. She hoped they'd be happy for her, but she knew she had to prepare herself a little for any negative reactions – even if they were only small.

"So, what's up?" Buffy asked, taking a seat as Faith lingered close by.

Only just realising that she'd always done it, Buffy was completely aware of where Faith was at all times as she shuffled around in her large boots beside her chair. She was super aware now, noticing every expression, and every gesture and action – like the cracking of her knuckles as Giles flicked further through his book as he stood at the head of the table.

"Well I'm not quite sure how to put this," Giles began, his voice almost drowned out in Buffy's mind by thoughts of Faith and what they now were. "But it seems you're not quite the first two slayers who have existed at the same time."

Buffy watched as Faith raised an eyebrow.

"Ooh, that does sound interesting," Willow chimed in, leaning forward onto her elbows on the table.

"Yeah, also sounds like there's something you're not telling us," Faith added, standing right next to Buffy now and resting a hand on the back of her chair.

"I was just getting to that part," Giles assured, pushing his glasses further up his nose. "Apparently this situation has happened twice before, and both times. . ." He tipped his little book sideways as if he were looking at a large picture spanning two pages, "The slayers have been. . .involved."

The library went quiet as Giles continued to study the book at an angle, a strange expression on his rather flushed face.

"Ok, am I the only one here wondering what he's looking at and if it's an NC17 rated book?" Xander asked, lifting his chin and pushing a little way off his chair in the hopes of catching a glimpse.

Giles slammed the book closed, a definite flush to his cheeks now, and placed it down on the table. He gave Xander a warning glance before the poor boy could even think about stretching his arm out to grab it.

"It was just an illustration. . .of demons," Giles explained hurriedly, clearly lying.

Though Buffy was intrigued about what was in the book, she was more intrigued about what Giles had said, and what it meant for her and Faith. She hoped they hadn't gravitated towards each other just because of the 'slayer thing'.

Faith shuffled away from Buffy's chair. She was tense – Buffy could sense as much and guessed that she must be thinking along the same lines.

"So they were screwin'?" Faith asked abruptly when it seemed nobody else was going to talk again. "Because of the slayer connection dealy?"

Giles furrowed his brow and slid his glasses from his face, placing them on top of the old book his information had come from. Buffy wasn't sure she wanted to hear the answer. She wasn't even sure if it mattered, but she wasn't about to interrupt.

"From what it appears, the life of a slayer – as you both know – is not an easy one," he began. "This information seems to suggest that the slayers, who existed together, naturally formed a bond that transcended any outside influence that would normally have them coexist as nothing more than. . .friends."

"In English that means?" Faith prompted.

"They were screwing," Buffy explained a little more simply. She held her tongue briefly before turning to Giles and pushing him further. "Was it a magic thing? I mean, a slayer-bond, or something they had no choice in?"

Her voice trembled slightly and she hated the fact she was questioning her own feelings – worried that they were manufactured from the slayer within her. She stood, scraping the chair back in order to cover the quake in her words, and started pacing behind Faith. She really didn't like where this was going, and she could see that Faith felt the same as she stood rigidly, her arms tight as they crossed over her chest.

"As far as I can tell their feelings, and actions, were. . .real. To put it plainly," Giles said softly as his gaze followed Buffy.

Buffy stopped moving, finding herself stood beside Faith as if on instinct. She glanced at her friends; they looked sympathetic, and almost hopeful for her, for them – Faith and Buffy. She knew they'd guess where her mind was leading her. Where her fears were taking her. She knew they'd be asking the same questions she was.

And she hated that. She hated that they – that _she_ – had to question if her actions had been her own.

The place inside her still harbouring her fear crept up a little to mock her; taunting her for having wanted Faith, and for having cheated so easily on the man she had professed to love. And for what? Just to learn that the desire she'd felt all along for Faith had been a symptom of them both being slayers?

She couldn't believe that to be the case, and she needed further clarification from Giles in order to be sure.

"So they definitely weren't together just because they were slayers?" Buffy asked.

"Yes and no, Buffy," Giles replied.

Buffy was beginning to reach the point of exasperation. She didn't like not feeling in control and though everything she'd done with Faith had felt real, had felt like a breath of fresh air into her greying world, she had to know without a doubt that she'd chosen – that they'd both chosen – to be together because of something other than just the bond they shared through the slayer line.

"Is it yes or is it no?" Buffy pushed, her muscles tensing and stomach preparing for a drop.

Giles scratched at his forehead, looking a little worried at his slayer's reaction.

"Buffy, I really don't think you need to worry about this," he told her. "The previous cases were both completely dissimilar to your situations now. You have friends and allies those slayers didn't have, so I don't think you need worry that you'll suddenly develop feelings for Faith all willy nilly, or visa versa."

He chuckled a little, trying to make light of an obviously uptight situation because he didn't have the full facts yet.

"That's just it," Buffy said, hearing the quake in her voice yet again. She glanced over at Faith and received a shrug, but she saw that Faith was relaxing – her defences falling – making Buffy feel a little more confident. "We're. . .me and Faith we're. . ."

"Screwin'," Faith said when Buffy failed to continue.

Giles' eyes went wide and he reached up to his face for the glasses that were no longer there.

"Oh!" he squeaked. "You're. . .involved?"

Another excited giggle came from Willow and both Buffy and Faith shot her a death-glare.

Taking a deep breath, Buffy puffed up her chest and stood as tall as she could. There was no way she wanted this to turn into a bad thing. There was no way she wanted to let go of what she already had with Faith.

With another quick glance Faith's way, Buffy nodded and moved closer to the other slayer. "We're together."

Willow gave a silent clap of approval and a little "yay!" slipped from her lips, accompanied by a proud smile from Xander.

"Which is why I need to know that we chose this," Buffy said, indicating both her and Faith. "And that it's not just because we're slayers."

Faith ran a hand through her hair and Buffy watched as Giles gave it some thought.

"There's nothing I read that would indicate that the slayer within you has influence over those choices, Buffy," he said gently, walking towards them both with an almost fatherly expression. "The only influence could be due to the fact that slaying gives you similar lives – as was the case with the other slayers, as well as their relative isolation of course."

"Cool, so we're not just horny for each other 'cause we're freaky slayer types," Faith said, smiling and making Buffy smile slightly apprehensively with her. "I can deal with that."

"I really had no idea you were both. . .so close," Giles said a little awkwardly.

"Buffy and Faith, sitting in a tree, K, I, S. . ."

"If you finish that, Xander," Faith cut in, "you're gonna be wearing your underpants as a hat, without taking them off first."

He closed his mouth but continued to grin all happily. As much as Buffy really wasn't looking forward to the way he would want every detail of their relationship, she was happy that her friends seemed supportive. And Giles hadn't freaked out so that was a bunch of bonus points she hadn't expected.

"I know it's probably not something you'll approve of but. . .I can't help the way I feel about Faith," Buffy said to Giles, feeling her cheeks flush as Faith gave her a small smile.

"Ditto," Faith added as Buffy smiled back.

They just stood and smiled at each other for a moment, only aware that it was starting to drag on when Giles cleared his throat and Willow giggled yet again.

"Well," Giles anxiously interrupted, "I don't think there's anything more to discuss; I just thought you'd be interested in my findings. If there's nothing more you'd like to add I think we're done for the day – with the exception of your patrol later of course."

Buffy could tell he was a little flustered; probably thinking thoughts he really didn't want to think. Leaving would give him time to come to terms with things, and also give her time to go and spend with Faith – presuming she could shake off her friends for a little while at least.

"Yeah, we should get home," Buffy agreed. "I've got homework and. . .stuff."

A knowing grin graced Faith's lips and Buffy was glad she wasn't alone in her pervy thoughts.

"Indeed," Giles said hurriedly, scooping up the books from the table in front of him, just before Xander's hand crept close enough to snatch the one that was clearly still holding his interest. "If you have any more questions I'll be glad to do a little more research."

Buffy held Faith's eyes for a moment and shook her head no.

"I don't have any more questions," Buffy assured. "For whatever reasons the other slayers got together. . .I can't blame them, and as long as it's not some kinda mind trick, I'm happy."

Faith gave her a wonderfully dimpled smile that made Buffy's heart flutter.

"I totally agree, so let's go. . .do that stuff ya gotta do."

With a chuckle, Buffy rolled her eyes and took Faith's hand, happy that Faith allowed it. She waved goodbye to her friends and told them they'd catch up before patrol. She wanted to get out of there and get Faith alone for a little while. She had some making up to do to Faith, with Faith, under Faith.

When they reached the now mostly empty courtyard to the school, Faith gave Buffy's hand a little squeeze, making Buffy feel confident enough to keep hold of it, no matter if they gained a few awkward looks and whispers. None of that mattered when she felt this good, this alive, just being next to Faith. It was something she knew she would get used to, and could get used to.

"So, your place or mine?" Faith asked as they descended the steps.

Buffy gave Faith a sideward glance and couldn't help but smile. One-track-mind-Faith was also going to take some getting used to. Still, it wasn't exactly a bad thing.

"Yours," Buffy said without needing to think too long about it. "I don't think I'm ready to tell my mom about us yet."

Just the thought made Buffy's head hurt.

"Do you think you ever will?" Faith asked, sounding almost scared of the answer.

Thinking about it for a second so she could give Faith an honest and open answer, Buffy tried to ignore a small group of boys snickering behind their hands as they walked past them, still hand in hand. Though her fear prompted her to let go, her instincts, and her burgeoning feelings for Faith ensured her hand stayed tightly in Faith's.

"I definitely will," Buffy replied after taking a sense straightening breath. "If this is. . .yunno."

"If this is what?" Faith asked, slowing their pace a little as they strolled through the tree lined suburb.

"Real, and not the 'Slayer' making us have all the monkey sex."

"Does it really matter?"

Buffy once again took a short while to answer. It was important to her that she made no further mistakes. She didn't want to mess this up. It felt real to her – more real than it had felt with Angel in fact – and she knew she had to make sure that Faith didn't get spooked, or left with the impression she was an afterthought to Buffy.

Stopping and turning towards Faith, Buffy reached up and cupped the other girl's face with her free hand.

"I guess it doesn't really," she answered, not sure that she was certain. "I just want to know that it's me - that's it me you want to be with and not just because you're being tricked into it."

Faith smiled, her dark eyes picking up the dazzle of the low sun as it shone through the leafy trees around them. Each gold fleck in amongst the brown made Buffy turn to mush inside. If this wasn't real then it was one hell of a perfect illusion.

"Such as we are made of, such we be," Faith said softly, pushing a stray strand of blonde from Buffy's brow.

Buffy blinked, unsure if she'd heard correctly. Had Faith just quoted something at her?

"What was that and what does it mean?" Buffy asked with a chuckle. "And when the hell did you swallow one of Giles' books?"

"Hey, I did go to school at one point yunno," Faith responded with a wink. "Doesn't matter where it's from or what it means exactly. Just as long as you know that this feels totally real to me, and nothing to do with bein' a slayer. And even if it was. . .it's you. Just you."

A shaky breath made Buffy tremble as she listened to Faith's words. She leaned in and kissed the lips she longed to keep kissing. It's all she needed to hear as she felt the same. Whatever the cause, she was already happier than she'd been in a long time.

"So, how about dinner at mine tomorrow so we can tell my mom?" Buffy asked as they continued walking again, feeling suddenly confident in them and braver than she probably should have been.

"No way, twinkie," Faith replied without hesitation. "That's one bombshell moment I don't wanna be around to see."

"But Faith," Buffy whined. "You're my girlfriend now so you should support me and heed the pouty lip powers that I have."

She promptly pouted, which did nothing more than cause Faith to laugh.

"See, I knew this relationship stuff was gonna have you takin' advantage."

"Oh you have no idea," Buffy stated with a wicked grin, wiggling her eyebrows in a way that was more normal for Faith to do.

Without needing to ask, they both picked up the pace as they headed towards Faith's motel room. They weren't necessarily on their way to having more of the steamy sex that Buffy knew she'd quickly become addicted to, but she wanted to be close to Faith. She wanted to make up for the last few days, even if it just meant hanging out and talking, and possibly making out, with possible nakedness.

With a happy sigh, Buffy gripped tighter to Faith's hand, smiling at her as they ignored the rest of the world around them.

Faith was hers. All hers.

The mistakes that had lead them to where they were almost felt inevitable – like they'd been on a path they couldn't have strayed from even if they'd tried.

It was meant to be, no matter the reason.

**The End**


End file.
